it all started with spare the air day...

You will not believe the last two days I had. It all started yesterday with Spare the Air day. The MUNI and Bart are free today and yesterday to encourage public transportation. I spent the whole day yesterday on Irving at Tart to Tart eating a tart and watching the world pass me by. It was lovely, and I rarely get to do that. I came home and got a call from B.--Scooter's best friend. He asked if I was busy. He wanted to see Pirates 2. I hadn't seen it yet, so I said I'd go. I mean, MUNI is free anyway, so I'd save 3 bucks.

We went to the movies together. It was a fun time. He's a cool guy. We talked about our movie ideas, had some laughs. He said that we should get together next week. He's been really bored--he's not taking summer school, doesn't have a job, and his roommates aren't living in his apartment right now. I said okay. I went home kind of late--almost midnight.

While brushing my teeth, my phone starts ringing. I didn't want to wake up the roommates, so I just grabbed it--toothpaste in my mouth and all--to see who it was. It was B.. He's probably wondering if I got home okay, I think. I answer it.

"Hello?"
"Hey...It's B..I just wanted to tell you that I had a really great time tonight and...I've been thinking a lot about you lately. And you're an amazing girl. And the next time we go out, I want it to be in a different context."

Oh no, this isn't happening, this isn't happening. Toothpaste mouthwash uncontrollably leaves my mouth and drips on the floor. I am speechless for seconds.

"Okay," I say.
"Okay. Great. I'll call you." He hangs up.

NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!! You really did it this time, God. It was only a post ago that I wish guys would like me. Now here's one who likes me, and, leave it to me to like his best friend. A pickle if I ever saw one. What do I do? How do I proceed? B.'s a great guy and all, and I like him, but not in the way I like Scooter, his best friend. God, why do they have to be best friends?!?!?!?!

I called Cherilin. We talked and analyzed the situation. I joked that I need another person to help me on one relationship. I'll probably need a team of consultants. DAMN! I just got off the phone with B. He wants to have dinner tonight, and I said yes. AAAHHH!! OH MY GOD, WHAT IS GOING ON!!!! I'm not ready for this. Why the hell did I say yes? I don't want to have dinner tonight. I was perfectly happy with staying at home and trying to figure out my next possible moves, but he calls and asks me to dinner. God, help me.

I can't get my head around this. I took advantage of Spare the Air again today. Walked from Pier 39 to the Ferry building--that's 39 piers--hoping that I could come up with one amazing solution where B. does not get hurt and friendships aren't damaged forever. Nothing. I'm just going to have to break it to him tonight, after dinner, which hopefully I'll pay for myself and it won't be too expensive. I like him, but only as a friend.

As for Scooter...I don't think anything can happen between us now that B. has made his feelings known for me. I really like Scooter, but if that meant hurting B....I just can't go through with that.

Once a Prufrock, always a Prufrock. I am doomed to wander the earth alone. Wish me luck tonight.