and now I have a cold...

I have a sore throat and runny nose. I feel a little like crap. Not too bad. L. says it might be because I'm not bundling up too much when I go for a jog. She's probably right. I also think that I caught it from my Mom. She had a cold, and I kissed her good-bye when they dropped me off. So much for love. Gosh, I can't stop movie-quoting. "So much for love" was from Narnia, incidentally.

Classes are going well. Our karate sensei is really cool! His father invented the form of karate that he's going to teach us. I really like him. He's like a wise, old man from all those martial arts films--"I can't teach you how to climb up the walls though". Hilarious. Philosophy teacher is cool as well. A tad bit boring, but I think I can get into it.

My two French classes are okay. I'm waitlisted in both of them. I have to take a placement test to see if I'm right for the class. I'm okay for the lower one, 205. Not so much for the other one. But I really want to get in it!! C. (from club Francophone) is in that class and he told me to be persistent. I will try my best to take the placement test again and to score higher.

The cinema class I had today was pretty cool--intro to cinema studies. We watched a documentary on the making of Apocalypse Now. It was really interesting. I've only seen parts of that film, but I really should see it all. This cute guy sat two seats away from me. He chose that seat. It seems that I'm always interested in the fact that they choose where to sit. And then this guy comes and sits between us. Not cool. I went to the restroom, and then the guy sitting between us was gone! Sweet! There was an empty seat between us for the whole film. He had black hair and wore jeans and a black hooded sweatshirt. He's enrolled in the class, and I hope he's not dropping it.

I can't believe how fast time goes by. I feel like I graduated yesterday. But I have a year and a half of college under my belt, and it went by so fast. Do we ever really change? I feel like I'm the same kid from grade school. But in a little less than 7 months I'll be twenty. No more of those "-teen" endings. It's so weird! L. will be 20 in less than a fortnight. I still have to get her gift...

cold

It's raining here in SF. Typical. I've been spoiled by the so cal sunshine. But it's actually a good change. When I stepped outside this morning, I felt cold for the first time in a long time. I don't like bundling up, usually. I think it's good to feel the cold sometimes.

Picked up my textbooks and organized my part of the room and my desk. Everything is neat and orderly. For now. In two weeks, who knows. I resolved to be a better student, to not procrastinate so much. We'll see how that goes. I'm making little changes, here and there, to just be a better person. I'm slowly getting rid of things that I don't need. I'm improving my posture because, "I hunch" as Peter Parker put it. Spider-man was on last night. I'm eating better. I'm trying my best not to waste my time becaue seconds are valuable, and each day could be my last. When Lucy Pevensie asks Aslan when "soon" is, He answers, "I call all times soon."

I swear, all these little changes have been coming about ever since I started reading the Narnia books again. I'm on The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. When I first read the Chronicles, I read it in the wrong order--using the internal chronology with The Magician's Nephew first. It really screwed up things, in my opinion.

It's also because of Stephen Chow. Pathetic, I know, but it would be unfair to you to tell you that it's only because of Aslan and Narnia that I'm changing. I was watching Kung Fu Hustle with commentary. I'm not sure who said it, but either it was one of the actors or Chow who said that American food sucks. I was a little hurt by the remark, but I began to think about it objectively. Now I see why he said it. A lot of our food is pretty unhealthy--the fat, the grease, the sugar, and so forth. When my parents were my age, they weren't eating the stuff we eat today. Of course, they were living in Asia, and it's totally different there. Their diets consisted of rice, vegetables, fish. They didn't have all that junk food we have here. I'm not starving myself, please don't worry. I'm just thinking more about the things I put into my body. It's my only body after all, and I do need to start taking more care of it.

I do hope that these changes are lifelong and not brought about because it's a new year. Hey, today is Chinese New Year! Just realized it right now. Happy New Year!

School

I leave Friday. Ugh. Kuya and I were sitting on the couch today and he said, "Stay here. Stay here and get fat with me." Haha. It's so true! I gain weight when I come back home because I have a car, and I eat a lot of really good food. When he was living in SF, he was fit and healthy. But now that he has a full-time job making drugs (he's a pharmacist), he eats well, commutes a lot, and has little time for working out.

So, looking back, I think I did okay with my "Christmas vacation resolutions", if you will. Here's what I put up last month to do over the break:

-read (at least 4 books): I read Prince Caspian and two-thirds of 1984.
-finish Euro film: Uhhh.
-film films (L. and I have this music video idea): filmed as much as time allowed and then ran out of ideas. Boo.
-not spend an obscene amount of time on internet: wasn't possible.
-do Oasis (an online Library requirement for school): started that.
-figure out what you're going to do this summer: Uhhh...
-study French and do as many French things as I can: studied a bit...
-meet-up with friends: met up with most of them

I couldn't do a lot of this obviously. Mostly because I opted to hang out with my brother or my Dad than do all this stuff that can be done in SF. When I wrote these resolutions, I was thinking about all the awesome down time that I'll have when I'm at home and forgot the the whole reason why I was home. To be with the fam. To see friends I haven't seen for months. To get a little rest before the semestre. Not to do stuff that I can do anywhere else. Lesson learned.

weird habits I've developed while here:
1. doing math in my head with random numbers I see (like the time, my lotto numbers, license plates, etc.)
2. doing French in my head
3. sleeping with my ninja sword next to me (in case, you know, I have to defend myself from a burglar)

stuff that I have to do before I leave:
1. get a blood test and contacts
2. mail in W-2 (woo-hoo!)
3. laundry and pack up

little things that I'll miss the most:
1. hearing my Mom laugh, my Dad laugh or both of them laughing together
2. random outings with Kuya
3. Grandma commenting on my clothing and specifically my ears and their lack of earrings
4. going to the 99 Ranch with Mom
5. dinnertime
6. the so cal sunshine

Ninjas are sweet

Added some blogs that I frequently visit to the links list. There's also a picture of a ninja boy that'll take you to ninjai.com. I've been watching their cool animated films. Very cinematic and philosophical. And I like ninjas. I bought a ninja mask yesterday! More like a balacava, or however you spell it, but I can pass as a ninja with the right wardrobe. I am so weird. I swear, sometimes I don't even feel like I'm 19. I'm like a 12 yr. old boy in a 19 yr. girl's body because I like doing tomboyish things like trying (unsuccessfully) to climb trees, jumping off walls, waving my sword in the air, and shooting my airsoft gun.

Dropped off my aunt at the airport with my parents. I love the airport, as you already know (it's the hot, young businessmen, especially the ones who sit near me). Anyway, I saw three nuns, and I thought about how I would have been a nun if it hadn't been for the fact that I want to have children. You probably didn't know that about me. I wanted to be a Sister. Sister Elaine. Nice ring. Sister Elaine is in south Africa this year teaching English and catechism. And then I'd fall in love with a nice young doctor who is there distributing antibiotics and whatnot. I renounce my sisterhood and we marry. Happily ever after. But it doesn't help that I'm not very good with the Bible.

Went to Old Pasadena yesterday. Walked around and did some window-shopping. Saw a cute sweater, and then "Paris" came into my head, and then I put my wallet away. I swear, I better go to France since I'm saving all this money for it.

yummy:
1. lemon sorbet
2. tea and toast
3. croissants from that bakery at the 99 Ranch

fave places nearby my house:
1. 99 Ranch: It's a cool supermarket! Mostly Asian stuff. I get my teas there.
2. any cafe that sells boba drinks
3. Borders

Vesuvius (another past life?) and my problem

I had another crazy dream. This time, I saw Vesuvius erupt. I was in Pompeii, standing against the wall of someone's home with other people. We saw the smoke, and the lava was pouring out rapidly. I kept telling the people I was with that I loved them. They were my parents and my brother, and at the same time they were different people; people I've never seen before. They just stood there watching the falling ash and lava. It was scary and so real. The ash was covering us, but it was the lava that really was mesmerizing. I stood and watched with them. We didn't run. We all accepted it in the silence of our hearts that we were going to die. An insight into another past life? Nothing that happened that day had anything that would remind me of volcanoes or Pompeii or Vesuvius. I don't know...

My facialist has reason to believe that I have led multiple lives. She was massaging my face when I asked her if my freckles (or moles, I can't tell the difference--anyway they're dark spots on my face) reflect sun damage. I have a bunch of them scattered like a constellation all over my face and body, and they kind of worry me. They aren't raised or colored weird, they just worry me is all. She asked me some questions and deduced that I was pretty much okay as long as I keep wearing sunscreen. Then, she added, "You know, Thais believe that moles mean that you have lived another life." It's against the tenets of Catholicism, but I do believe in reincarnation and some aspects of Buddhism. I'm such a horrible Catholic. I'll dive into that in another post...

I asked her why I keep coming back here to Earth. All I really want is to be reunited with God. Earth is nice, and living is nice, but I want to be with God for all eternity where it's really nice. She said that I've been given another chance, to finish my unfinished business. I don't even know what that is! You can see how much this bugs me.

And that wasn't even the problem I was mentioning up there in the title. Ugh. I can't finish a damn thing I start. It's horrible, really. I tackle projects and never finish them. I haven't finished the film yet. And I just started a new one--the music video. I haven't finished reading 1984. I guess it's because I read it before and know what's going to happen, but still I'm not motivated to finish it. I haven't finished cleaning up the whole house. I'm doing it for Mom because she's always working. I want to leave the house looking nice, you know? I'm horrid.

New, added resolutions:
-- Kick ass. Along with the karate for this semestre, I just started jogging. I swear, each day that I start with excercise and some sort of cardio instantly becomes a good day. I'm never tired on those days; I'm instantly energetic. Not today though, Sunday is my day of rest. But I seriously want to be able to kick someone's ass physically. I want to be able to defend myself, like I mentioned in the Sing post. I read somewhere that Bruce Lee drank only milk and tea. I can do that. And so it begins...

pen pals

This is a post about my parents. And then I'll come in later. Haha.

During dinner, Dad was talking about this pen pal he had in Japan when he was 18 and in the U.S. Navy. He was cleaning out the garage and came across some photos of her. She was a girl--of course. Mom said Dad was quite the ladies' man. I mean, Navy, come on. His ship was heading there, so he got to visit her. Imagine three (she brought two of her friends) cute Japanese teenagers hanging around a sailor. Unbelieveable. I can't even fathom it, but the photos are there.

They asked him what he wanted to do and he answered, "I want a Japanese tea party." I laughed out loud when Dad said that. Just say that sentence out loud, it sounds so ridiculous. Not that Japanese tea parties are ridiculous, it's the sentence that's funny. Anyway, Dad is so hilarious. They had tea at her house. Then they went out into the city and had a grand old time 1960s style--my parents are pretty old. They later lost touch because her Dad didn't really like Americans, especially sailors. Then Mom interjected.

"I had a pen pal, too!" Mom always gets jealous when Dad talks about his past in the service and all the girlfriends he had. She had a pen pal who was in the Army. He'd always send her stuff from wherever he was stationed. He received my Mom's address from his mom who knew someone who knew my Mom's mom. They were trying to set them up, and he wanted to get married. He met my Mom and realized how young she was (she was still in college), and he didn't want to change the future that she had already planned for herself. And that was that.

I was sitting there, listening to their stories, and thought about how lucky I am that my parents found each other. Without their union, I would cease to exist. I wouldn't exist actually. There would be no me. My existence is a miracle, their marriage is a miracle. My brother is a miracle. You are a miracle, and your parents that brought you into the world are a miracle. It's so amazing, those little simple things...like being introduced to someone.

Dad's cousin, who was also a friend of my Mom's, went to pick up my Mom at the airport. Dad was in town visiting, and he tagged along with his cousin. And that's that. They were introduced. That's all it took. It's so beautiful in its simplicity.

Can things still be simple in our modern, fast-paced world? Does old-fashioned romance exist? I think and hope so. Or maybe it's a rarity, as precious as a pen pal letter...

Sing!

My crush of the season is Stephen Chow. Last summer, it was Riley Breckenridge of Thrice. And there was no fall crush, sadly.

Okay, before you even think it--yes, I know what you're going to think--in my defense, I did not know that he was ripped under there. His whole fighting sequence in Kung Fu Hustle comes at the end of the film, and he's shirtless for three minutes. He is amazing because he's an awesome writer/director. He's hilarious, and he's good at kung fu--I know it's wires, but please don't ruin the beautiful illusion for me!!! Haha. My brother kept saying to me, "Elaine, it's a movie. It's all choreographed. And they use wires." NNNOOO!!! I refuse to believe it! Stephen Chow is a kung fu master!

And I must admit, he has an amazing body. You wouldn't think it because for most of Kung Fu Hustle he's wearing slightly baggy clothing, and he looks so scrawny and, not exactly weak, but not that strong.

I like how his films (I've only seen two though--Hustle and Shaolin Soccer) have his love interests as girls with afflictions. In Hustle, the girl is mute, and in Shaolin Soccer the girl has bad acne (but it clears out in the end). They're beautiful though (of course).

Stephen Chow has inspired me to learn some martial arts. My self-defense is very basic (being the little sister to a big brother, it is a must), but it would be really cool to have the ability to kick someone's ass. I've never been in a fight before, but if the opportunity were to arise, I would like to fight and not run away. Actually, Mom said I beat up some kid when I was young, but I don't even remember it.

And they're making Kung Fu Hustle 2! A sequel I am actually excited for. Yay for Stephen Chow!

a good start

I am extremely happy with myself. I started this year off good. I got a dollar extra in change at Michael's (a craft store) when I went New Year's day. I was on my way to the car when I realized. On any other day, I would have smiled to myself and continued walking. But feeling the New Year's spirit, and the karmic repercussions, I marched right back into the store and handed it back to the cashier, who thanked me. I thought, "God was testing me. That act determined the rest of my year." Or not. Who knows. I've also been getting a lot of things done--mostly the stuff on my list. It felt good to complete tasks and to see results.

Met with most of my high school friends today. It was awesome. Just us, and food, and lots of stories. Good times. I'm really glad that I've kept in touched with them. It's funny because we were all together, and none of us dress alike. I mean, we all look so weird together because we all dress differently. It's quite a sight.

To further celebrate 2006 and change and new starts, I'm going to go cut my hair again. There's something about getting a haircut that is so freeing. Lately, I've been wearing a barrette a lot and some bobby pins, but I'm going to cut it short again. I like it short, and I don't care what anybody says. Frequent haircuts or drastic haircuts (like the one I had in November last year--from shoulder-length to boy short) remind me that nothing is permanent, things change. It is something that I must accept. Hair grows back.

My classes for this semestre:
1. Intro to Filmmaking
2. Intro to Cinema Studies
3. French Review 1
4. French 216
5. Elementary Karate: L. is taking this too, but we're not in the same class. I just want to take this before I take Kung Fu, and archery was filled up anyway. I have this newfound interest in martial arts thanks to Stephen Chow, who is my new crush...I'll explain in a future post!

the boyfriend question

You know you get this. You get this from family, family friends, anyone who hasn't seen you in a long time. If you're a guy, then you get the girlfriend question. Nine out of the ten people I've seen these past weeks home have asked me this burning question: Do you have a boyfriend?

No, I don't. And after that question comes a string of questions that must be answered if the answer is no:
1. Why not?
2. Haven't you met anybody yet?
3. What do you do on the weekends?

And so on, and so forth. It's only a stupid little question, yet everything behind it seems to bug me. It makes me feel as if I'm not interesting enough if I don't have a boyfriend. Because when you do have one, then you get to talk about where you met, what he's like, what he's studying, and blah, blah, blah. I say I don't, then it's like, "Well, why haven't you found someone, Elaine? How come you don't want a boyfriend, Elaine?"

And then, they turn to my Mom, and say to her, as if I wasn't there, "She's so pretty now!" I'm standing right here! And what does "pretty" have to do with it? And I don't like that "now" there in that sentence. If I had a boyfriend, I hope to God that none of his main reasons for being with me was because I was "pretty". Must "pretty" be a main facet to have in order to acquire a boyfriend? It seems like it, in this day and age. That or a girl must be "hot". These are sad times...

Moving on...Oh, dear God, I have been missing out. I watched "Kung Fu Hustle" and "Shaolin Soccer" this past week, and Stephen Chow is so amazing!! I love his combination of action, comedy, and a little romance. Where have you been all my life, Stephen Chow? He's so hilarious too.

Happy New Year, by the way. I hope yours got off to a good start. We can all start new.