In addition to the whole "don't eat meat on Fridays" and "fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday", I'm giving up a couple of things that I think would be really good for me:
1. limit internet time to an hour a day: Sounds impossible, but I think I can handle it. I spend too much time on the internet. I'll write down the times I go on and make sure they don't go over an hour each day.
2. no unnecessary purchases: This means no clothes, magazines, books, eating out, etc. Lately I've been buying clothes, which I really shouldn't because I'm in the process of losing weight.
3. finally finished editing the Euro film: Because it's still not finished. Pathetic.
Mom is really worried that I'm starving myself--not true. I told her that I lost my holiday weight gain, which I'm really happy about. I want to get strong and energized, is that so wrong? Incidentally, I have pics of Angelina Jolie from Tomb Raider on my closet to inspire me. I want to be fit, like Lara Croft fit or close to it, if it's possible. I think that she thinks I'll become some other person if I looked different. That's not going to happen. I'm still going to be the same Elaine that she and Dad raised. I am afraid though that I've become a bit obsessed with my health. Diseases and cancer scare me.
Hilarious. Yesterday at Mass, this family sat in front of us. They had a son, maybe my age or a little older. Another family sits in the pew in front of them. Their son turns around and high-fives the other guy sitting in back of them. Friends. I thought that was so hilarious. A high-five right during Mass, right before the first reading and all.
I haven't written anything beautiful the last couple of months, which really makes me sad. I used to write really good posts about things that mattered. Now I've become obsessed with my body and shopping and material things. I've become that selfish person that I thought I would never become. For that, I am sorry. I don't want to lose readers because of my selfishness. I mean, I was hoping that you'd come here often for the content and style of my writing, as engaging as it is (sarcasm), and it really sucks right now, I think. Let's add another thing to the Lenten list:
4. Stop posting about my losing weight obsession and anything material. Write something beautiful at least once a week.
lundi, février 27, 2006
samedi, février 25, 2006
shopgirl
I never thought that I'd become that girl who's obsessed with shopping. Not really obsessed, but I think clothes express who I am without me having to speak, so I want to express myself with the right clothes. Anyway, I just spent money (and I was already over my spending limit!) on a jacket that I don't really need, but it looks really neat on me, and it's really cool. Got it at H&M. It reminds me of Gunslinger Girl. It's a periwinkle blue (not a girly kind of periwinkle blue) long jacket that hits my knees. It looks like it could have been issued by the army if that army had a division dedicated to women's clothing. It zips and buttons up. And there's a secret pocket in the inside!
I've been naming my articles of clothing now for what they remind me of. Like my Riley hat that I bought last year. The name is a reference to Riley's hat in "National Treasure" in the beginning scenes. My Holden hat--reference to Holden Caulfield. And now I have my "Gunslinger Girl" jacket. This one will be called my Rico jacket, because it reminds me of her character, and it looks like something that she would wear. She's also my favorite character. I can see myself shouldering a Dragunov SVD looking for my target in that jacket, and then I'd go out and have tea with my handler. I am such a girl for liking shopping so much.
I love it when people really express themselves with their clothes like Audrey Hepburn and James Dean. I don't really care for wearing big huge labels saying what brand it is. When I was young, I thought that I'd be really cool if I wore Paul Frank shirts. Now I'm just sick of them. I still like the brand, but now I'm moving on, growing up, purchasing clothes that are, although I hate to admit it, more "adult"--like those blouses I bought a couple weeks ago at Forever 21. I still wear my Paul Frank shirts though--I'm not going to let those go to waste!
In other news, received a care package from Mom and Dad. Lovely. They sent me holy water from Lourdes in France and a statue of Mary. She's beside my lamp and guards my books and watches over me while I study. I also got a rosary.
That reminds me, I have to think of something to give up for Lent. Or something that I should do that I never do. I'll think of something...
things I'm working on:
1. perfecting my posture
2. film treatment for film class
3. my French--Je pense que je m'ameliore! There's an accent on the first e of that last word, but I don't know how to put accents on here...
4. becoming stronger and more flexible
I've been naming my articles of clothing now for what they remind me of. Like my Riley hat that I bought last year. The name is a reference to Riley's hat in "National Treasure" in the beginning scenes. My Holden hat--reference to Holden Caulfield. And now I have my "Gunslinger Girl" jacket. This one will be called my Rico jacket, because it reminds me of her character, and it looks like something that she would wear. She's also my favorite character. I can see myself shouldering a Dragunov SVD looking for my target in that jacket, and then I'd go out and have tea with my handler. I am such a girl for liking shopping so much.
I love it when people really express themselves with their clothes like Audrey Hepburn and James Dean. I don't really care for wearing big huge labels saying what brand it is. When I was young, I thought that I'd be really cool if I wore Paul Frank shirts. Now I'm just sick of them. I still like the brand, but now I'm moving on, growing up, purchasing clothes that are, although I hate to admit it, more "adult"--like those blouses I bought a couple weeks ago at Forever 21. I still wear my Paul Frank shirts though--I'm not going to let those go to waste!
In other news, received a care package from Mom and Dad. Lovely. They sent me holy water from Lourdes in France and a statue of Mary. She's beside my lamp and guards my books and watches over me while I study. I also got a rosary.
That reminds me, I have to think of something to give up for Lent. Or something that I should do that I never do. I'll think of something...
things I'm working on:
1. perfecting my posture
2. film treatment for film class
3. my French--Je pense que je m'ameliore! There's an accent on the first e of that last word, but I don't know how to put accents on here...
4. becoming stronger and more flexible
jeudi, février 23, 2006
tea addiction and karate kicks
I can't stop drinking tea. It's a lovely addiction. A good one, at that. Tea is good for you.
Watched "Rebel Without a Cause" in cinema studies. That James Dean. God, was he handsome and brooding and mysterious. Why do I find that attractive? Why do girls find that attractive? I mean the "brooding and mysterious" part. Handsome just depends on the person though. It's subjective. And it wasn't just that he was brooding and mysterious. His character in that film...man, Jim Stark is just the kind of guy I would want to hang out with, maybe be with. That scene when it's his first day of school, and he pops his head over the fence to say "hi" to Natalie Wood's character. Amazing. I would fall in love with any guy who'd do that to me. And in the beginning when he offered his jacket to Plato, when he insisted that he wear his jacket. And that hair. "Oooohhhh...that hair." That's a quote from "Arrested Development".
Enough dreaming. He's amazing and one in a million.
In karate yesterday, we were doing kicks. We were sitting on the floor because it's easier to learn that way. We were doing kicks with our right foot, hitting the ball of our foot as hard as we can against the hand of our partners which was maybe 3 feet in the air. After our tenth kick, Sensei came over to me, smiled and said, "I like your kick!" I blushed and laughed a bit because he said it so suddenly and with such enthusiasm. I am so happy.
I'm keeping with last year's resolution. I've been doing my best to get fit and be well. I beat the elevator to the 12th floor the other day. I was sick of waiting for the elevator, and there were a bunch of people in front of me who were probably getting on just to go to the 5th floor. My roommates said I was crazy as I turned around towards the stairwell, and they crowded into that rectangular moving box of death. I beat them to the apartment. I ran for my life, pretending that zombies were chasing me like in "28 days later". I was out of breath, breathing for my life, lungs expanding and contracting. I never felt so alive. This is pain, yes, but it will subside. I am alive, and this makes me feel alive. I am glad for it.
My thighs are sore from kicking ass. I am alive.
Watched "Rebel Without a Cause" in cinema studies. That James Dean. God, was he handsome and brooding and mysterious. Why do I find that attractive? Why do girls find that attractive? I mean the "brooding and mysterious" part. Handsome just depends on the person though. It's subjective. And it wasn't just that he was brooding and mysterious. His character in that film...man, Jim Stark is just the kind of guy I would want to hang out with, maybe be with. That scene when it's his first day of school, and he pops his head over the fence to say "hi" to Natalie Wood's character. Amazing. I would fall in love with any guy who'd do that to me. And in the beginning when he offered his jacket to Plato, when he insisted that he wear his jacket. And that hair. "Oooohhhh...that hair." That's a quote from "Arrested Development".
Enough dreaming. He's amazing and one in a million.
In karate yesterday, we were doing kicks. We were sitting on the floor because it's easier to learn that way. We were doing kicks with our right foot, hitting the ball of our foot as hard as we can against the hand of our partners which was maybe 3 feet in the air. After our tenth kick, Sensei came over to me, smiled and said, "I like your kick!" I blushed and laughed a bit because he said it so suddenly and with such enthusiasm. I am so happy.
I'm keeping with last year's resolution. I've been doing my best to get fit and be well. I beat the elevator to the 12th floor the other day. I was sick of waiting for the elevator, and there were a bunch of people in front of me who were probably getting on just to go to the 5th floor. My roommates said I was crazy as I turned around towards the stairwell, and they crowded into that rectangular moving box of death. I beat them to the apartment. I ran for my life, pretending that zombies were chasing me like in "28 days later". I was out of breath, breathing for my life, lungs expanding and contracting. I never felt so alive. This is pain, yes, but it will subside. I am alive, and this makes me feel alive. I am glad for it.
My thighs are sore from kicking ass. I am alive.
samedi, février 18, 2006
life is art
I saw that I had 200 posts for this blog today. This is my 201st. Wow, I can't believe I've made it this far. Thanks for sticking with me from the start and if you're just joining me, please stay.
Went out in the rain today to save my friend. She's volunteering at the art gallery on campus and text-messaged me that she was bored out of her mind. I was planning to stay in on account of the cold and wetness outside, but I wore my Holden hat, and I was very toasty. Besides, it's on campus.
They're showing "Gender and Sexuality in Contemporary Scandinavian art". Pretty neat, not at all racy or anything. I watched this sad film short. This pub is filled with a bunch of guys ranging in ages from 20 to 80. This young guy stands up and starts singing "Crying" by Roy Orbison. Just his voice, no other musical accompaniment. One by one the guys join him. It was very touching.
I was glad I came, and I realized how much art I'm missing out on. I pretty much fill my days with school stuff, writing and reading, endless Googling and internet surfing. But I do see art in every day life, does that count? Even though it's not "by" someone? Rather, it's "by" God, I guess. God's my favorite artist.
I am a wizard in the kitchen. I was cooking some chicken breast in a pan, and I added some of my favorite salad dressing to it, just to experiment, and it was amazing! I had no idea what it would taste like, but it was heaven. I love salad dressings. They're not just for salad. I also transformed this pita pocket with tuna into heaven when I added some salad dressing. Yum. It's hard to cook on a student budget, but I found that I can buy a few things and mix and match them so that I don't get bored.
Balsamic Vinegarette Chicken
Need:
1 chicken breast
garlic powder
Mrs. Dash (I use this in almost everything--even popcorn)
olive oil
Wishbone Balsamic Vinegarette salad dressing: I've only tried it with this dressing and it works.
1. Pour a teaspoon of olive oil in a pan and put on high.
2. Lightly coat both sides of chicken with garlic powder and Dash. When hot enough, put it in the pan.
3. Brown both sides evenly.
4. Squirt a teaspoon of the salad dressing on the chicken and a little on the pan. Then cover it with a large lid--this is very important. It'll make the chicken moist. Keep it on for a minute or so. Turn the chicken over in the dressing as the dressing starts to evaporate.
Note: I really don't time things, so you just have to keep an eye on it! This goes good with some salad.
Tuna Pita Pocket
1 can of tuna
1 whole wheat pita pocket
2 cups of romaine lettuce
your favorite cheese (I used pepper jack)
Makoto Ginger Dressing: so good--it's in the refigerated section of the produce section
and if you're wealthy add your other favorite vegetables, as for me it's just romaine lettuce: cucumbers, celery (to be mixed with tuna), bell peppers, tomatoes, etc.
salt and pepper to taste
Mrs. Dash!
1. Drain the tuna and empty it into a tupperware for storage of the leftovers--I just used half the can.
2. Toast your pita, if you like it like that, and then put the cheese inside so it melts a little.
3. I put pepper into the tuna because I'm avoiding salt just for a bit. Also this is a no-mayo recipe because I'm trying to avoid that stuff and I can't afford it anyway. And then Dash the tuna. Mix it up a bit.
4. Stuff the pockets with lettuce and then some tuna. Then drizzle some of the ginger dressing into the pockets. Yum.
Went out in the rain today to save my friend. She's volunteering at the art gallery on campus and text-messaged me that she was bored out of her mind. I was planning to stay in on account of the cold and wetness outside, but I wore my Holden hat, and I was very toasty. Besides, it's on campus.
They're showing "Gender and Sexuality in Contemporary Scandinavian art". Pretty neat, not at all racy or anything. I watched this sad film short. This pub is filled with a bunch of guys ranging in ages from 20 to 80. This young guy stands up and starts singing "Crying" by Roy Orbison. Just his voice, no other musical accompaniment. One by one the guys join him. It was very touching.
I was glad I came, and I realized how much art I'm missing out on. I pretty much fill my days with school stuff, writing and reading, endless Googling and internet surfing. But I do see art in every day life, does that count? Even though it's not "by" someone? Rather, it's "by" God, I guess. God's my favorite artist.
I am a wizard in the kitchen. I was cooking some chicken breast in a pan, and I added some of my favorite salad dressing to it, just to experiment, and it was amazing! I had no idea what it would taste like, but it was heaven. I love salad dressings. They're not just for salad. I also transformed this pita pocket with tuna into heaven when I added some salad dressing. Yum. It's hard to cook on a student budget, but I found that I can buy a few things and mix and match them so that I don't get bored.
Balsamic Vinegarette Chicken
Need:
1 chicken breast
garlic powder
Mrs. Dash (I use this in almost everything--even popcorn)
olive oil
Wishbone Balsamic Vinegarette salad dressing: I've only tried it with this dressing and it works.
1. Pour a teaspoon of olive oil in a pan and put on high.
2. Lightly coat both sides of chicken with garlic powder and Dash. When hot enough, put it in the pan.
3. Brown both sides evenly.
4. Squirt a teaspoon of the salad dressing on the chicken and a little on the pan. Then cover it with a large lid--this is very important. It'll make the chicken moist. Keep it on for a minute or so. Turn the chicken over in the dressing as the dressing starts to evaporate.
Note: I really don't time things, so you just have to keep an eye on it! This goes good with some salad.
Tuna Pita Pocket
1 can of tuna
1 whole wheat pita pocket
2 cups of romaine lettuce
your favorite cheese (I used pepper jack)
Makoto Ginger Dressing: so good--it's in the refigerated section of the produce section
and if you're wealthy add your other favorite vegetables, as for me it's just romaine lettuce: cucumbers, celery (to be mixed with tuna), bell peppers, tomatoes, etc.
salt and pepper to taste
Mrs. Dash!
1. Drain the tuna and empty it into a tupperware for storage of the leftovers--I just used half the can.
2. Toast your pita, if you like it like that, and then put the cheese inside so it melts a little.
3. I put pepper into the tuna because I'm avoiding salt just for a bit. Also this is a no-mayo recipe because I'm trying to avoid that stuff and I can't afford it anyway. And then Dash the tuna. Mix it up a bit.
4. Stuff the pockets with lettuce and then some tuna. Then drizzle some of the ginger dressing into the pockets. Yum.
jeudi, février 16, 2006
that was a close one
Wow. I will not procrastinate ever again. I hope. I just put off a paper for French class until last night. I am so bad. It's due today, and I am done. I feel horrible for putting it in Courier New though. She didn't say it had to be a certain font, and all sneaky students know that Courier makes papers longer. Thank you, Mr. Courier, for your lovely invention.
L. and I are going to be big losers--of weight, that is. She is going to be my getting-fit buddy. Awesome. If she sees me reach for chips and if I see her go for a second cookie, we're supposed to call each other on it. We both want to have healthy weights for our size, which I'd have to say is small. So, yup. Woo-hoo for getting fit!
Forgot to wish all a Happy Valentine's! Sorry! I had no valentine sadly, but that's okay. I don't need one. They showed "Battle Royale" at the Coppola, and I went with two of my suite mates. It was very enjoyable, and I liked it a lot. I love watching foreign films. Unfortunately, some big head had to sit in front of me, and I couldn't see most of the subtitles. That film is on my wishlist now. I want to get that and the poster of the Battle Royale class to put in the apartment.
My film proposal for film class is due next week. I have an idea about what I what my film to be, but not the whole idea. There's a lot of studying and homework that I must do--especially since I've been especially slack. It's very hard to create balance in my life, but that's what I'm trying to achieve: more balance. Between studying and having fun--it can't be one or the other or else life will just be crazy. God, show me how to balance.
L. and I are going to be big losers--of weight, that is. She is going to be my getting-fit buddy. Awesome. If she sees me reach for chips and if I see her go for a second cookie, we're supposed to call each other on it. We both want to have healthy weights for our size, which I'd have to say is small. So, yup. Woo-hoo for getting fit!
Forgot to wish all a Happy Valentine's! Sorry! I had no valentine sadly, but that's okay. I don't need one. They showed "Battle Royale" at the Coppola, and I went with two of my suite mates. It was very enjoyable, and I liked it a lot. I love watching foreign films. Unfortunately, some big head had to sit in front of me, and I couldn't see most of the subtitles. That film is on my wishlist now. I want to get that and the poster of the Battle Royale class to put in the apartment.
My film proposal for film class is due next week. I have an idea about what I what my film to be, but not the whole idea. There's a lot of studying and homework that I must do--especially since I've been especially slack. It's very hard to create balance in my life, but that's what I'm trying to achieve: more balance. Between studying and having fun--it can't be one or the other or else life will just be crazy. God, show me how to balance.
lundi, février 13, 2006
wrong will be righted
I know that the main purpose here was to bare my feelings, my thoughts, essentially everything that I feel that you should have and know about me (because it's therapy and an art for me, and probably entertainment for you)...but I'm not going to share the reason or a background explanation for this.
It's encouraging to see people be a little selfish, make mistakes, and get back on the right path. I guess this is why I like and admire Michelle Kwan while my best friend, L., hates her with a passion. Nobody is perfect; people make mistakes. Why should we hide that from everyone? Why should we hate someone because they made a mistake? Perfection is overrated. If we teach our children to be perfect...what a mess. So much pressure, like the little bit I'm feeling now.
This is a little set-back. This too shall pass. Everything will be okay. You are my heroine, Michelle. It's going to be okay. Come home and get better.
Other female heroines:
1. Mom
2. Grandma
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Audrey Hepburn
5. Michelle Yeoh
6. Chiaki Kuriyama (just because she kicks ass)
It's encouraging to see people be a little selfish, make mistakes, and get back on the right path. I guess this is why I like and admire Michelle Kwan while my best friend, L., hates her with a passion. Nobody is perfect; people make mistakes. Why should we hide that from everyone? Why should we hate someone because they made a mistake? Perfection is overrated. If we teach our children to be perfect...what a mess. So much pressure, like the little bit I'm feeling now.
This is a little set-back. This too shall pass. Everything will be okay. You are my heroine, Michelle. It's going to be okay. Come home and get better.
Other female heroines:
1. Mom
2. Grandma
3. Angelina Jolie
4. Audrey Hepburn
5. Michelle Yeoh
6. Chiaki Kuriyama (just because she kicks ass)
samedi, février 11, 2006
Chinatown and Little Italy
A lovely walk through Chinatown today. And it's the day of the New Year's parade too. I didn't get caught up in the crowds though, thank God. L. and I were walking toward North Beach (aka Little Italy). That's her "beat" for journalism class. We ate philly cheese steak sandwiches and then had gelato. Heaven.
Going out last night with L., our UC Davis friend (N.), and her bf made me realize how much I'm missing out on San Francisco's city life. I'm not much of a partier or clubber or anything (you should already know that though), but I do like to experience things that may not seem like a big deal, but are very valuable to me. SF is so beautiful at night. I took the camera I got for Christmas, my Smena, and took some pictures. We ate at North Beach Pizza and walked around Little Italy for a bit. The lights, the people out and about, the smell of food--it was so wonderful to take in.
Of course, I can't do this all the time. I am a poor student! Muni tickets are higher now, and it's a real turn-off to go into the city unless I have a good enough reason (I need to buy something). At least I'm a good money manager though--I put away all my money, and I can be really frugal at times. I allow myself $50/month for anything I need that's not food, and I spent it all today!
At H&M, I bought a bag. At Forever 21, I bought 2 really cute blouses that are vintagey and just my style. I was not surprised that there were a lot of them on the racks--everyone else likes those tunic style tank tops and shirts that are stripey and weird and close-fitting. I swear, sometimes I think that some of my clothing came straight from the 30s or 40s. Some of them, not all of them. I like classic pieces. Anything trendy just seems so fleeting. Oh my gosh, these at the most 15 year olds were in front of me in the line at the dressing room in Forever 21. They were wearing so much make-up I wanted to gag. They wore more make-up on their faces than I have ever worn in my entire lifetime. It made me really sad. I'm not a huge fan of make-up. I like looking natural. Okay, enough fashion and make-up. I also bought ink for my fountain pen.
Oh yeah, beautiful things I experienced today. A section of Grant (which is in Chinatown) was blocked off for the New Year's celebration, but L. and I decided to walk through it anyway just until we hit Sacramento. Crowded, which is horrrible, but there were so many things going on at the same time you wish that your eyes and ears and nose could witness everything and still be able to process it, store it, and save it for later. There were children in strollers, moms and dads and couples holding hands. A little girl let go of her balloon, and it floated away. I got a nasty wiff of dried fish and herbal stuff and then the lovely smell of freshly baked breads all within a city block.
But this trumps all. I was heading back by myself--L. stayed in North Beach to interview the locals. I got out my quarters to pay my MUNI fare to the lady behind the booth. I was in the turn stile right in front of her, and there's a display that says how much to pay. An adult is $1.50 and a child (5 to 17 years old) is $0.50. She puts how much to pay according to the person in the turnstile.
I paid 50 cents. I didn't look at her--maybe she'd change her mind and make me pay the adult fare. I put in two out of the six quarters that were already in my hand into the slot, got my pass, and walked away. I went slowly toward the stairs and turned around to look at the lady in the booth. She kept doing her job, watching people pay their fares and get their tickets. I was ecstatic. I am as young-looking as a 17 year old. The best compliment ever. And I saved a dollar. I then kept it and bought some Red Vines when I came home. Yum.
In a related story, L. is turning 20 tomorrow!
Going out last night with L., our UC Davis friend (N.), and her bf made me realize how much I'm missing out on San Francisco's city life. I'm not much of a partier or clubber or anything (you should already know that though), but I do like to experience things that may not seem like a big deal, but are very valuable to me. SF is so beautiful at night. I took the camera I got for Christmas, my Smena, and took some pictures. We ate at North Beach Pizza and walked around Little Italy for a bit. The lights, the people out and about, the smell of food--it was so wonderful to take in.
Of course, I can't do this all the time. I am a poor student! Muni tickets are higher now, and it's a real turn-off to go into the city unless I have a good enough reason (I need to buy something). At least I'm a good money manager though--I put away all my money, and I can be really frugal at times. I allow myself $50/month for anything I need that's not food, and I spent it all today!
At H&M, I bought a bag. At Forever 21, I bought 2 really cute blouses that are vintagey and just my style. I was not surprised that there were a lot of them on the racks--everyone else likes those tunic style tank tops and shirts that are stripey and weird and close-fitting. I swear, sometimes I think that some of my clothing came straight from the 30s or 40s. Some of them, not all of them. I like classic pieces. Anything trendy just seems so fleeting. Oh my gosh, these at the most 15 year olds were in front of me in the line at the dressing room in Forever 21. They were wearing so much make-up I wanted to gag. They wore more make-up on their faces than I have ever worn in my entire lifetime. It made me really sad. I'm not a huge fan of make-up. I like looking natural. Okay, enough fashion and make-up. I also bought ink for my fountain pen.
Oh yeah, beautiful things I experienced today. A section of Grant (which is in Chinatown) was blocked off for the New Year's celebration, but L. and I decided to walk through it anyway just until we hit Sacramento. Crowded, which is horrrible, but there were so many things going on at the same time you wish that your eyes and ears and nose could witness everything and still be able to process it, store it, and save it for later. There were children in strollers, moms and dads and couples holding hands. A little girl let go of her balloon, and it floated away. I got a nasty wiff of dried fish and herbal stuff and then the lovely smell of freshly baked breads all within a city block.
But this trumps all. I was heading back by myself--L. stayed in North Beach to interview the locals. I got out my quarters to pay my MUNI fare to the lady behind the booth. I was in the turn stile right in front of her, and there's a display that says how much to pay. An adult is $1.50 and a child (5 to 17 years old) is $0.50. She puts how much to pay according to the person in the turnstile.
I paid 50 cents. I didn't look at her--maybe she'd change her mind and make me pay the adult fare. I put in two out of the six quarters that were already in my hand into the slot, got my pass, and walked away. I went slowly toward the stairs and turned around to look at the lady in the booth. She kept doing her job, watching people pay their fares and get their tickets. I was ecstatic. I am as young-looking as a 17 year old. The best compliment ever. And I saved a dollar. I then kept it and bought some Red Vines when I came home. Yum.
In a related story, L. is turning 20 tomorrow!
vendredi, février 10, 2006
lips
Probably my best facial asset. That's why I like to spoil them. They're probably the only things I like about my face. Mom said that they're like Angelina Jolie's, but I think that that's an exaggeration. They're perfect and flawed. They're plump (perfect) and lightly dotted with freckles (flawed). I went to the mall to find some balm that has some SPF in it because I don't want to get anymore freckles on my lips.
I bought a really nice one at Bath and Body Works--Propoline lip aid with Chamomile and Olive Oil. It has an SPF of 15. The ladies there were really helpful. I also got this lip buffer made by C.O. Bigelow that gets rid of dead skin cells. Very nice. I got it for free because I had this coupon.
The cashier said that I had really nice lips. I was extremely flattered--this coming from a total stranger. And then I wondered if she really meant it. Was she only saying it because she's a worker there and wants me to come back and spend more money? Or was she for real? I bet it was the former. She saw what I was buying and decided to compliment me according to the product. Well, she sold me. I foresee myself buying more lip products there in the future. Especially the Propoline line. Very nice.
Tonight, we dine at North Beach Pizza. Our friend from UC Davis is coming by with her new boyfriend. I'm excited. To see her and to eat outside for the first time since I've been here. Mmmm, Italian food.
Some things I need to get in the city:
1. Lamy T10 ink for my fountain pen
2. pumice stone
I bought a really nice one at Bath and Body Works--Propoline lip aid with Chamomile and Olive Oil. It has an SPF of 15. The ladies there were really helpful. I also got this lip buffer made by C.O. Bigelow that gets rid of dead skin cells. Very nice. I got it for free because I had this coupon.
The cashier said that I had really nice lips. I was extremely flattered--this coming from a total stranger. And then I wondered if she really meant it. Was she only saying it because she's a worker there and wants me to come back and spend more money? Or was she for real? I bet it was the former. She saw what I was buying and decided to compliment me according to the product. Well, she sold me. I foresee myself buying more lip products there in the future. Especially the Propoline line. Very nice.
Tonight, we dine at North Beach Pizza. Our friend from UC Davis is coming by with her new boyfriend. I'm excited. To see her and to eat outside for the first time since I've been here. Mmmm, Italian food.
Some things I need to get in the city:
1. Lamy T10 ink for my fountain pen
2. pumice stone
jeudi, février 09, 2006
cinema TAs are hot
All the teacher assistants (TAs) in my film class are so cute!!! One is V.: he does the role call and completely butchered my last name, but that's okay. Another is A., who didn't speak at all. I think he's the cutest because he reminds me of Mark Ruffalo. The last one is S.. He showed some of his short films to us last night and answered our questions. He gave really good advice about being a filmmaker and what it takes. All of which I heard before, but it's nice hearing it again.
After class, I went to ask him a question personally. He was really nice and helpful. But I probably came off as a ditzy girl who doesn't know anything. Why did I do that, God? I came off as shy and innocent and uninformed about anything that has to do with filmmaking when in fact I know a pretty decent amount. Why did I make myself seem so...unintelligent? I always see girls pretending to be stupid in front of guys, and it makes me cringe to see it happen, and here I am doing it myself. I'm better than that. Ugh. I hate myself now for doing that. Wish I could re-do that moment all over again so I can make myself look better and we can look at each other like equals.
In karate, I had such a hard time doing the upper block. It's just so awkward! Thank God Sensei came over to me and helped me with the motions. I've been practicing before I go to sleep now and when I take the stairs to my apartment. Whenever I do it, all I can think about is "wax on, wax off."
Couldn't sleep last night. Before I fall asleep, I always think about some story ideas for a film. Lately, I've been thinking about my treatment for film class. We will be developing one story idea this semestre for this class. It'll include a treatment and a still photo essay. I'm really excited about my idea because it's feasible to do and doesn't involve a lot of tricky stuff. No car crashes or frogs falling from the sky. I hope to make it happen.
I don't think I can volunteer this semestre, which sucks, but oh well, that's what happens. I have to focus on French and Cinema--I have to get As. And FR 216 is so hard! Ugh. Okay, stop complaining. I can do this, I can do this. God sends me signs all the time that this is the way to go, that this is my path. Signs that even I can't ignore.
to do this weekend:
1. celebrate L.'s 20th birthday
2. clean
3. study, study, study
4. try to get an hour to edit film
5. Mass
6. hit the market for: pasta, bread.
After class, I went to ask him a question personally. He was really nice and helpful. But I probably came off as a ditzy girl who doesn't know anything. Why did I do that, God? I came off as shy and innocent and uninformed about anything that has to do with filmmaking when in fact I know a pretty decent amount. Why did I make myself seem so...unintelligent? I always see girls pretending to be stupid in front of guys, and it makes me cringe to see it happen, and here I am doing it myself. I'm better than that. Ugh. I hate myself now for doing that. Wish I could re-do that moment all over again so I can make myself look better and we can look at each other like equals.
In karate, I had such a hard time doing the upper block. It's just so awkward! Thank God Sensei came over to me and helped me with the motions. I've been practicing before I go to sleep now and when I take the stairs to my apartment. Whenever I do it, all I can think about is "wax on, wax off."
Couldn't sleep last night. Before I fall asleep, I always think about some story ideas for a film. Lately, I've been thinking about my treatment for film class. We will be developing one story idea this semestre for this class. It'll include a treatment and a still photo essay. I'm really excited about my idea because it's feasible to do and doesn't involve a lot of tricky stuff. No car crashes or frogs falling from the sky. I hope to make it happen.
I don't think I can volunteer this semestre, which sucks, but oh well, that's what happens. I have to focus on French and Cinema--I have to get As. And FR 216 is so hard! Ugh. Okay, stop complaining. I can do this, I can do this. God sends me signs all the time that this is the way to go, that this is my path. Signs that even I can't ignore.
to do this weekend:
1. celebrate L.'s 20th birthday
2. clean
3. study, study, study
4. try to get an hour to edit film
5. Mass
6. hit the market for: pasta, bread.
dimanche, février 05, 2006
a trip down memory lane
The following is a journal entry I found when cleaning up my room over the break. I just want to share it with you in its entirety and with no changes in spelling, grammar, etc. It was written on my 15th birthday in Las Vegas when I saw Thrice at Warped Tour. Notes by me will be in brackets.
June 23, 2001 11:38 p.m.
alright. that is one word to describe my day today. alright. warped tour was okay. we watched the vandals, the bouncing souls, less than jake, the ataris, and most importantly of all, Thrice. kuya bought me a Thrice shirt. we went to their table. the guy asked me where I had bought my Thrice shirt and i said hot topic. we also got a bunch of stickers and cds and stuff. pretty cool.
one time, before the Thrice show. teppei walked past me and i made my 'melting' face [it's that face you make when the hottest guy walks past you or when Amelie turned to water when she saw Nino leave the cafe]. this was the same face i made when i saw dustin. it's like this shy-girl-oh-my-gosh type of face. but he walked past me and saw right through me. it was the worst feeling in the world. i get it all the time.
i took a bunch of pics of them today @ their show. we were in the front by the pit. i was getting shoved and everything. it was horrible. but the songs were great. they played: as the ruin falls, identity crisis, phoenix ignition, to what end, revolution ultra-blue, torch to end all torches, kill me quickly, subtle dagger (?).
teppei was saying, "warped tour woo-hoo!". dustin was so cute when he said, "phoenix ignition, okay, we'll play that. don't worry!" and did this roll with his eyes. edde said: "our van is a giant piece of crap" and "does anybody like my hair? okay..."
kuya lost a contact and got a minor scrape by his eye. they (the crowd) moshed a lot.
we kept on passing the thrice table when dustin was there but i tried not to look @ him (hee hee).
so my day was okay. dinner was good. we ate @ this cajun restaurant. it was good.
alright. i don't feel 15. i still feel the same 3 years ago. i still feel 12 yrs. old. this year, my b-day wish, God, is for THRICE. I love them so much, from afar. i want them to be well & to keep creating good music. please take care of them for me.
And that's the end of it. I was such a shy dork back then. Still am. I mean, crap, the singer was right there, and I just ignored him because I was shy and stupid. I'll never have a chance like that again. Now, people would line up for hours just to get their signature and say hello, which would last like less than a minute. I could have talked to him for at least 5 minutes while he was there, sitting at the booth. But no, I was a shy, stupid kid who was afraid to take a chance. Learn from me, kids.
June 23, 2001 11:38 p.m.
alright. that is one word to describe my day today. alright. warped tour was okay. we watched the vandals, the bouncing souls, less than jake, the ataris, and most importantly of all, Thrice. kuya bought me a Thrice shirt. we went to their table. the guy asked me where I had bought my Thrice shirt and i said hot topic. we also got a bunch of stickers and cds and stuff. pretty cool.
one time, before the Thrice show. teppei walked past me and i made my 'melting' face [it's that face you make when the hottest guy walks past you or when Amelie turned to water when she saw Nino leave the cafe]. this was the same face i made when i saw dustin. it's like this shy-girl-oh-my-gosh type of face. but he walked past me and saw right through me. it was the worst feeling in the world. i get it all the time.
i took a bunch of pics of them today @ their show. we were in the front by the pit. i was getting shoved and everything. it was horrible. but the songs were great. they played: as the ruin falls, identity crisis, phoenix ignition, to what end, revolution ultra-blue, torch to end all torches, kill me quickly, subtle dagger (?).
teppei was saying, "warped tour woo-hoo!". dustin was so cute when he said, "phoenix ignition, okay, we'll play that. don't worry!" and did this roll with his eyes. edde said: "our van is a giant piece of crap" and "does anybody like my hair? okay..."
kuya lost a contact and got a minor scrape by his eye. they (the crowd) moshed a lot.
we kept on passing the thrice table when dustin was there but i tried not to look @ him (hee hee).
so my day was okay. dinner was good. we ate @ this cajun restaurant. it was good.
alright. i don't feel 15. i still feel the same 3 years ago. i still feel 12 yrs. old. this year, my b-day wish, God, is for THRICE. I love them so much, from afar. i want them to be well & to keep creating good music. please take care of them for me.
And that's the end of it. I was such a shy dork back then. Still am. I mean, crap, the singer was right there, and I just ignored him because I was shy and stupid. I'll never have a chance like that again. Now, people would line up for hours just to get their signature and say hello, which would last like less than a minute. I could have talked to him for at least 5 minutes while he was there, sitting at the booth. But no, I was a shy, stupid kid who was afraid to take a chance. Learn from me, kids.
vendredi, février 03, 2006
one week down, 16 more to go...
"There must be fusion of mind and body." Yup...Uh, so how it is possible? I learned a very valuable lesson this week--not to push myself so far that I end up hurting myself. Me getting sick was my body telling me to take it slow. I was blinded by vanity, pushing myself, keeping only in mind how I will look once the weddings are here (my cousin's and my friend's sister's--they're in the summer) and forgot the real reason why I want to get in shape. This is why I am sick. I only thought about my outer appearance and failed to take care of what really counts--the insides. My mind and body have to work together. Hence the quote. And from Stephen Chow (Shaolin Soccer), no less.
This has been the slowest week ever. Probably because it's the first week back. I have tons of reading (cinema) and tons of French homework. I was able to add into that French class that's going to be really hard for me this semestre. I felt so out of place there, so behind. So I have to study even harder just to be up to speed in that class because everyone else is ahead of me. I'm up to the challenge; I know I can do it.
For Cinema, I have to get a B or higher in Cinema Studies and Filmmaking in order to continue with a major in Cinema. Knowing me, I want to get an A in both classes. Oh yeah, the cute guy from my CS (that's going to be my abbreviation for cinema studies from now on) is also in my Film (filmmaking) class. Alas, he did not sit near me this time. At least I get to see him twice a week!
I like the Film professor. He's not an actual teacher here, he's really a filmmaker and has been living in France for the past 10 years. When he said that, a light went on in my head. I took this as a sign from God letting me know that this is the right direction. How could I ignore this? I can't. He went on to give us a spiel to discourage us from being filmmakers: "It's just a life of pain. And when it's good, it's brief." I wrote down what he said in my notebook and reflected over it for a while.
I knew that this would come. That he would say something like that. I remember even on career day in high school when I asked this woman, a film producer, how to get into film. She pointed her finger right at me in front of the class and said, "Don't get into film." I felt ostracized as everyone in the class knew my dream and witnessed it being trampled on by this woman. It does not deter me. I can't just come this far and turn back now. I go on, for those who believe in me, and for those who don't. And there's a good amount of people who don't, who expect me to change my major, who expect me to fail. Yes, I have French to fall back on, but at least I tried. At least I will never have to think, "I wonder what would have happened if I majored in Cinema, if I tried to become a filmmaker" as I head to my cubicle. Ugh. Cubicle.
Anyway, the Film prof seemed really happy to see girls in his class. 75% of the class is male. When he called out role, he'd smile as he said some girl's name and run through the guys' names quickly. I was a little shaky until he came to my name, "F------, Elaine." "HERE!" I said loudly and clearly. He looked up to see my face. "Where does this strong, clear and determined female voice come from?" I imagined him to think. I chose this seat right in the middle of the auditorium, for my movie-viewing pleasure. A couple guys turned around to see who I was. "Yes," I thought, "Take a good look. For I am your competition."
This has been the slowest week ever. Probably because it's the first week back. I have tons of reading (cinema) and tons of French homework. I was able to add into that French class that's going to be really hard for me this semestre. I felt so out of place there, so behind. So I have to study even harder just to be up to speed in that class because everyone else is ahead of me. I'm up to the challenge; I know I can do it.
For Cinema, I have to get a B or higher in Cinema Studies and Filmmaking in order to continue with a major in Cinema. Knowing me, I want to get an A in both classes. Oh yeah, the cute guy from my CS (that's going to be my abbreviation for cinema studies from now on) is also in my Film (filmmaking) class. Alas, he did not sit near me this time. At least I get to see him twice a week!
I like the Film professor. He's not an actual teacher here, he's really a filmmaker and has been living in France for the past 10 years. When he said that, a light went on in my head. I took this as a sign from God letting me know that this is the right direction. How could I ignore this? I can't. He went on to give us a spiel to discourage us from being filmmakers: "It's just a life of pain. And when it's good, it's brief." I wrote down what he said in my notebook and reflected over it for a while.
I knew that this would come. That he would say something like that. I remember even on career day in high school when I asked this woman, a film producer, how to get into film. She pointed her finger right at me in front of the class and said, "Don't get into film." I felt ostracized as everyone in the class knew my dream and witnessed it being trampled on by this woman. It does not deter me. I can't just come this far and turn back now. I go on, for those who believe in me, and for those who don't. And there's a good amount of people who don't, who expect me to change my major, who expect me to fail. Yes, I have French to fall back on, but at least I tried. At least I will never have to think, "I wonder what would have happened if I majored in Cinema, if I tried to become a filmmaker" as I head to my cubicle. Ugh. Cubicle.
Anyway, the Film prof seemed really happy to see girls in his class. 75% of the class is male. When he called out role, he'd smile as he said some girl's name and run through the guys' names quickly. I was a little shaky until he came to my name, "F------, Elaine." "HERE!" I said loudly and clearly. He looked up to see my face. "Where does this strong, clear and determined female voice come from?" I imagined him to think. I chose this seat right in the middle of the auditorium, for my movie-viewing pleasure. A couple guys turned around to see who I was. "Yes," I thought, "Take a good look. For I am your competition."
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