Why do funny things happen to me when no one else is looking? Friday night. Food court at the mall. Both of my friends went to the restroom, and I was sitting there people watching. Then a massive wave of long blond hair brushed up against my face and landed on my shoulder. EEEWWW!!! The lady sitting at the table behind me was fixing her hair, unaware of the grossed-out girl behind her. I made my "disgusted-in-a-funny-way" face (I make this face all too often) and looked around to see if anyone witnessed this display. Nobody. I laughed at myself, and then scooted my chair closer to the table. HILARIOUS!!! My friends came back--I retold the story as we headed toward the stores, and they were cracking up. I swear, the funniest things happen to me only when God is watching.
Halloween. All the weirdos are out. I was going to buy a ninja outfit. The ones where you can only see my eyes, but I don't have the money--I really should be saving. Because I have to eat...Oh, gosh, talk about saving, I spent a wad of cash Friday night. I bought a really cute olive green eyelet skirt and a warm vest. I'm very attached to this vest, and I'm not even a vest person. It's brown, made of cotton, lightly padded--not like those puffy nylon ones like Michael J. Fox's in "Back to the Future"--and it has a removable hood with faux fur lining around it. It was fate. E. (our friend that works at the pool hall) and I were looking at all the outerwear vests, and I was saying that I'd like one that didn't look like any of them and that had a fur-lined hood. Then, we were just standing around--L. was in the fitting room--and a salesperson puts back this cute, brown, lightly padded, hooded vest on the rack facing us. E. and I both looked at each other, and I knew that at that moment we were both thinking, "Wow." I was all, "This is the vest." E. said, "That is so you--try it on!" And it fit! I felt like Cinderella but without the prince. The prince can come in later...I got a really cool vest! I looked around for another one of its kind, but there weren't any. How unique.
It was a bit pricey...but I rationalized it:
a. I rarely go "clothes shopping"--I usually just like looking around and if I find something that fits, is unique, and compliments my wardrobe then I usually go for it. The vest fits all of my criteria.
b. I can wear it for Thanksgiving (the skirt too).
c. There is no other vest of its kind.
d. From now on, my money will only be for groceries and this year's Christmas gifts (I got your b-day/Christmas gift, Chaunce! Keep an eye on your post next month!).
e. I want it! I want it! I want it!
Happy Halloween everyone! I love fall.
What I love about fall:
1. the leaves changing colors
2. warm clothing
3. apple cider...all things apple in general
4. enjoying a good book with some apple cider
5. Thanksgiving
6. the approach of Christmas
And as for Halloween...things that gross me out:
1. maggots
2. slutty girls
3. really thin, unnatural looking eyebrows
4. being touched by strangers
5. zombies
dimanche, octobre 30, 2005
jeudi, octobre 27, 2005
This is sad...
I have more evidence for my recluseness: two of my flatmates asked if I wanted to go watch "The Shining" with them at one of the dorm buildings, and I said, "No, thank you though." I'm so sad. I do have a good reason though: I watched that film two weeks ago. Also, two days ago all my flatmates except me ate dinner together (I had leftovers from the night before!), and they all ate breakfast together this morning. I woke up early this morning and ate half an hour before them.
I'm not avoiding these group things--it just so happens that some reason gets in the way. All my flatmates are pretty talkative. They talk about their day and what they did and all that. I find that I don't do that at all. I'm pretty much the listener in the household. I really don't mind it--I love to listen. I don't like to talk much; I don't know why. Writing's funner. I'm so weird.
Tomorrow, I'm going to watch L. perform a scene from "Romeo and Juliet". She signed up to act in some student's film/play this semestre, and she's Juliet. How awesome is that? The guy who plays Romeo is Japanese, and some of his lines are in Japanese. It's like a West-Side story-ish thing going on. She gave me her camera, and I'm going to film it at the back of the theatre.
I made my photo blog. It's over there in the links section. I'll let you know when I update it. I'm excited for my photo blog. It's going to be fun...
I'm not avoiding these group things--it just so happens that some reason gets in the way. All my flatmates are pretty talkative. They talk about their day and what they did and all that. I find that I don't do that at all. I'm pretty much the listener in the household. I really don't mind it--I love to listen. I don't like to talk much; I don't know why. Writing's funner. I'm so weird.
Tomorrow, I'm going to watch L. perform a scene from "Romeo and Juliet". She signed up to act in some student's film/play this semestre, and she's Juliet. How awesome is that? The guy who plays Romeo is Japanese, and some of his lines are in Japanese. It's like a West-Side story-ish thing going on. She gave me her camera, and I'm going to film it at the back of the theatre.
I made my photo blog. It's over there in the links section. I'll let you know when I update it. I'm excited for my photo blog. It's going to be fun...
mercredi, octobre 26, 2005
changes
There are going to be some changes around here...Don't worry, I hope you like them. I want to add a picture page with photos I've taken so you can see my cinematic side because I love being behind a camera as much as wielding a pen or typing my thoughts on this computer. This won't be up for a while--I don't have a camera here or my photos, and I keep bugging L. to use her camera, and I don't want to bug her anymore. So, maybe in mid-December it'll be up. An early Christmas gift for you, dear readers!! So yeah, that'll be fun. I really do hope you like my photos.
I really love blogging here. I'm glad I didn't just stop because nobody was reading it. (Thanks for changing my mind, Mark!) Writing in here just so other people can read/comment here isn't really the point (but it is nice). The main thing is to write, to get thoughts out, to have a creative way of expressing yourself.
This blog is such an amazing outlet, and it's really helped me grow. My friends can read it, anyone who has an internet connection can read it actually, it's not exclusive or anything, and I ask nothing of you in return. You can come here and read, you can leave a comment or not. Whatever. This isn't a popularity contest. There will be no "adding" of "friends". There are no labels; this is no facade. This is all me, and it's the straight truth.
Anyway, I just want to thank you, readers, for coming here, for reading my posts, for your comments, for your advice and love. I feel like I don't say this enough, but thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for growing with me and investing time out of your lives to visit me here. You have no idea how much it means to me. I really hope that you are happy with the direction my blog is taking, and I'm glad that you've joined me on this journey.
I really love blogging here. I'm glad I didn't just stop because nobody was reading it. (Thanks for changing my mind, Mark!) Writing in here just so other people can read/comment here isn't really the point (but it is nice). The main thing is to write, to get thoughts out, to have a creative way of expressing yourself.
This blog is such an amazing outlet, and it's really helped me grow. My friends can read it, anyone who has an internet connection can read it actually, it's not exclusive or anything, and I ask nothing of you in return. You can come here and read, you can leave a comment or not. Whatever. This isn't a popularity contest. There will be no "adding" of "friends". There are no labels; this is no facade. This is all me, and it's the straight truth.
Anyway, I just want to thank you, readers, for coming here, for reading my posts, for your comments, for your advice and love. I feel like I don't say this enough, but thank you, thank you, thank you. Thank you for growing with me and investing time out of your lives to visit me here. You have no idea how much it means to me. I really hope that you are happy with the direction my blog is taking, and I'm glad that you've joined me on this journey.
lundi, octobre 24, 2005
it's here
This will be quick. I got my packages!!! Yes, Vheissu is finally in my hands. I received the Best Buy order yesterday, and I got the Tower order today. And it's all thanks to my friends. L. was downstairs yesterday and just casually asked the front desk if Elaine had a package, and the person at the front desk said yes. L. told me to go downstairs because my package was there. I didn't even receive a package slip. Usually, you get a package slip in the mail saying that you have a package. And then, today, L. was picking up a package downstairs and I was with her. The person working the front desk, M., is in Le Club Francophone with me and said that I had a package, and she just gave it to me right there, no paperwork. Thank you God for L. and M..
So, I am happy. Finally listened to Vheissu straight through, and I was blown away. It's just unbelieveable to think that I listened to this same band in 8th grade not knowing, not even foreseeing how far they would go and how much they would accomplish. I'm in college now. Time is so crazy...I must go and study for tomorrow's midterm though. Have a beautiful week.
Vheissu favorites at the moment:
1. between the end and where we lie
2. atlantic
3. music box
4. red sky
So, I am happy. Finally listened to Vheissu straight through, and I was blown away. It's just unbelieveable to think that I listened to this same band in 8th grade not knowing, not even foreseeing how far they would go and how much they would accomplish. I'm in college now. Time is so crazy...I must go and study for tomorrow's midterm though. Have a beautiful week.
Vheissu favorites at the moment:
1. between the end and where we lie
2. atlantic
3. music box
4. red sky
dimanche, octobre 23, 2005
beauty
"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world I feel like I can't take it, like my heart's going to cave in." -- Ricky Fitts, American Beauty
Yesterday was amazing.
I wanted to get out and be by myself for a while. I didn't want to stay in and study like I had the weekend before, and I felt that I needed a change of scenery. I woke up with the intention of going to Irving Street, the place I frequented most when I stayed up here for one week in the summer with my brother while he did his rotations at UCSF. I was 15.
It was gloomy, as always in south San Fran. I waited for the M line. Across the street, there were four guys filming with an Arriflex camera. They were getting shots of buses stopping on 19th and Holloway. I wished that I could work with them, that I was knowledgeable in Arriflex cameras and in filmmaking in general. The M came and cut off my view of them.
After all the tunnels and stops, the moment the tunnel ended, and we were a bit more downtown, the sun was shining. I didn't think it would be possible. How could the sun shine here and not shine in south SF? I got off nearby UCSF and proceeded to walk down to Irving.
I stepped into a few shops. Saw a cute hat at Crossroads. Wishbone is my favorite, a cute boutique that sells Paul Frank, Gama Go, stuff for your home, and more. I was looking for a new wallet. Something unique and special and within my price range. I found it:
I had to turn my driver's license over in the top left pocket so you wouldn't see my face. Haha.
I continued walking around, passing people, enjoying the liveliness of the neighborhood. Everyone was out, smiling. It was like each person had something to be happy about, that there was some secret in each person's mind that was all theirs and that no one could take it from them. I wanted to know the secret; I wanted to find my secret. Or did I always have it, and maybe I just lost it in my brief moment of despondency? It'll come back.
I took the N line back. It was crowded, but I was able to have a seat near the window. There was a husband and his wife and two kids, a baby boy and a little girl a couple feet in front of me. The man had a stroller with him, and it was taking up most of the aisle. Another man, trying to walk past them yelled at the father, "You gotta fold that f*****g stroller, that's a fire hazard." The father got angry, how dare he use that language in front of my kids? I couldn't believe it too. But the father didn't retaliate, and instead, let the man through as best as he could.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch that other man in the face, I wanted to go back in time and maybe get in the next car so I wouldn't have to witness what I just saw. I let it go. This is life. This is what happens. Three stops later, the wife and the two kids were getting off the car, but not the husband. He helped his wife take the stroller out and got back in the car. The little girl, the daughter on the platform waved and said, "Bye, Daddy." I watched the Dad, standing in front of me by the door. He waved and said, "Bye." He turned and saw me watching him. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. All is not lost.
Yesterday was amazing.
I wanted to get out and be by myself for a while. I didn't want to stay in and study like I had the weekend before, and I felt that I needed a change of scenery. I woke up with the intention of going to Irving Street, the place I frequented most when I stayed up here for one week in the summer with my brother while he did his rotations at UCSF. I was 15.
It was gloomy, as always in south San Fran. I waited for the M line. Across the street, there were four guys filming with an Arriflex camera. They were getting shots of buses stopping on 19th and Holloway. I wished that I could work with them, that I was knowledgeable in Arriflex cameras and in filmmaking in general. The M came and cut off my view of them.
After all the tunnels and stops, the moment the tunnel ended, and we were a bit more downtown, the sun was shining. I didn't think it would be possible. How could the sun shine here and not shine in south SF? I got off nearby UCSF and proceeded to walk down to Irving.
I stepped into a few shops. Saw a cute hat at Crossroads. Wishbone is my favorite, a cute boutique that sells Paul Frank, Gama Go, stuff for your home, and more. I was looking for a new wallet. Something unique and special and within my price range. I found it:
I had to turn my driver's license over in the top left pocket so you wouldn't see my face. Haha.
I continued walking around, passing people, enjoying the liveliness of the neighborhood. Everyone was out, smiling. It was like each person had something to be happy about, that there was some secret in each person's mind that was all theirs and that no one could take it from them. I wanted to know the secret; I wanted to find my secret. Or did I always have it, and maybe I just lost it in my brief moment of despondency? It'll come back.
I took the N line back. It was crowded, but I was able to have a seat near the window. There was a husband and his wife and two kids, a baby boy and a little girl a couple feet in front of me. The man had a stroller with him, and it was taking up most of the aisle. Another man, trying to walk past them yelled at the father, "You gotta fold that f*****g stroller, that's a fire hazard." The father got angry, how dare he use that language in front of my kids? I couldn't believe it too. But the father didn't retaliate, and instead, let the man through as best as he could.
I wanted to cry. I wanted to punch that other man in the face, I wanted to go back in time and maybe get in the next car so I wouldn't have to witness what I just saw. I let it go. This is life. This is what happens. Three stops later, the wife and the two kids were getting off the car, but not the husband. He helped his wife take the stroller out and got back in the car. The little girl, the daughter on the platform waved and said, "Bye, Daddy." I watched the Dad, standing in front of me by the door. He waved and said, "Bye." He turned and saw me watching him. I smiled at him, and he smiled back. All is not lost.
vendredi, octobre 21, 2005
patience
I can't believe how much patience I have. Sorry to keep rambling on and on about this, but Vheissu is still not here. I'm glad that I didn't break down and walk over to Tower to get it. I got a reply from Tower, and they said that it can take up to 21 days to get to me since I paid for standard shipping, which I forgot about. So, whatever. I can wait. I mean, I've been waiting for other stuff to happen in my life that hasn't happened yet, so I can wait for this. Okay, enough of Vheissu.
I might be the new piano teacher for my volunteer agency. One of the girls at the group home is interested in playing the piano, and I told her that I was going home in November and that I'd bring back some of my piano books and that she can make copies of it so she wouldn't have to buy actual books. I told the staff about making the copies, and they were like, "Well, you can be the piano teacher!" I told them I'd think about it because I don't feel as if I have the experience to teach piano. They offered to pay me, and I said that I'd do it for free just so I can have the hours. That's probably why they want me to do it. Anyway, I might end up doing it.
I did something really embarassing today. So I was walking to CIC to turn in a paper, and there are two guys coming toward me. One of them is on a razor scooter, the other is just walking. Scooter guy is going really, really fast. He veers to my right to avoid crashing into me, and for some reason unknown to me, I step to the right, and I'm maybe five feet in front of him. He freaks and swerves more to the right, and I go back to my original path. The guy walking laughs at what had taken place, and I blush and laugh at myself.
Why did I do that? I swear, I'm so weird sometimes. I can't even begin to explain why my body took control and wanted to scare that scooter guy. I didn't mean to scare him at all. My mind is an enigma and plots to embarass me and make me look like a lunatic. It's just like when I laugh at stupid things in class that nobody else finds funny. Why am I so weird...
did some grocery shopping:
1. Lactaid
2. whole wheat pita bread: I really like whole wheat now. And it's good for you!
3. cheese
4. romaine lettuce
5. Dove conditioner
6. oatmeal
I might be the new piano teacher for my volunteer agency. One of the girls at the group home is interested in playing the piano, and I told her that I was going home in November and that I'd bring back some of my piano books and that she can make copies of it so she wouldn't have to buy actual books. I told the staff about making the copies, and they were like, "Well, you can be the piano teacher!" I told them I'd think about it because I don't feel as if I have the experience to teach piano. They offered to pay me, and I said that I'd do it for free just so I can have the hours. That's probably why they want me to do it. Anyway, I might end up doing it.
I did something really embarassing today. So I was walking to CIC to turn in a paper, and there are two guys coming toward me. One of them is on a razor scooter, the other is just walking. Scooter guy is going really, really fast. He veers to my right to avoid crashing into me, and for some reason unknown to me, I step to the right, and I'm maybe five feet in front of him. He freaks and swerves more to the right, and I go back to my original path. The guy walking laughs at what had taken place, and I blush and laugh at myself.
Why did I do that? I swear, I'm so weird sometimes. I can't even begin to explain why my body took control and wanted to scare that scooter guy. I didn't mean to scare him at all. My mind is an enigma and plots to embarass me and make me look like a lunatic. It's just like when I laugh at stupid things in class that nobody else finds funny. Why am I so weird...
did some grocery shopping:
1. Lactaid
2. whole wheat pita bread: I really like whole wheat now. And it's good for you!
3. cheese
4. romaine lettuce
5. Dove conditioner
6. oatmeal
mercredi, octobre 19, 2005
WHY!?!?!
I'm so sad right now. It's nothing serious. It's just that...Vheissu hasn't come in the mail yet!!! I was expecting it last night--that's when all the mail is sorted and everything, and it still hasn't come! The Tower order is who knows where, and the Best Buy order is in New Jersey. NEW JERSEY!!! I'm tracking it, and it went from Ohio to Jersey. It's going the wrong way!!!
Last night, I watched Jimmy Kimmel, and Thrice was amazing, as always. They also did a signing at Tower Records afterwards. I was reading the message boards, and a lot of people wrote that not too many people showed up for both. That made me kind of sad. I wished I could have been there to support them. If only I had the money just to fly down for one day and let them know how much they mean to me. Oh well, it's not to be.
Today, Le Club Francophone is having a poetry reading, and I have to read a poem in front of everyone. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I just want to get in there and get out. I'm also not looking forward to trying to speak French with the other officers and members who are more fluent than me. I can write French fine, but I have difficulty speaking it. I wonder if I'll ever get fluent.
Last night, I watched Jimmy Kimmel, and Thrice was amazing, as always. They also did a signing at Tower Records afterwards. I was reading the message boards, and a lot of people wrote that not too many people showed up for both. That made me kind of sad. I wished I could have been there to support them. If only I had the money just to fly down for one day and let them know how much they mean to me. Oh well, it's not to be.
Today, Le Club Francophone is having a poetry reading, and I have to read a poem in front of everyone. I'm not looking forward to it at all. I just want to get in there and get out. I'm also not looking forward to trying to speak French with the other officers and members who are more fluent than me. I can write French fine, but I have difficulty speaking it. I wonder if I'll ever get fluent.
mardi, octobre 18, 2005
if you know what's good for you...
...you'll check this album out. It's pretty amazing. Just a suggestion.
Isn't it exciting when your favorite band comes out with their new cd? The day comes, and you take the trip to Best Buy or wherever you get your cds (in my case, I'll be waiting patiently by the mailbox), you purchase it, and you lock yourself in your room playing the cd, reading the liner notes, the lyrics, the thank yous...It's just such an amazing ritual. I love being able to do this.
Fortunately, I bought two of their cds: the special edition and the regular--I am a dork. They had this special thing where if you buy it at Towerreccords.com you get a limited edition 7" and then a couple weeks later, I found out that if you buy it at Bestbuy.com you get an exclusive track and podcast download. At first I was angry at Island Records for doing this to Thrice fans. I wrote them an email that was just a bit angry. Later, I asked Kuya for advice, "Should I buy the cd at Best Buy too? So I can get that exclusive track?"
"Do it, Elaine. It's Thrice. They're your band."
Kuya convinced me, and so I bought it, and now I will be eating peanut butter sandwiches for a week or so. Thanks a lot, Island Records for taking advantage of poor, starving music-loving college students. I did it for Thrice, though. They're my band, as Kuya said.
Okay, so my archaeology mid-term wasn't that bad, but I am glad that it is over with. Oh, we got a new apartment-mate. I'll just call her our new flatmate. Flat is much more cooler. Anyway, her name is N.. She's pretty cool. I noticed that she has a lot of stuff. It's as if she brought everything she has ever owned into our apartment. I'm cool with that, it just made me realize that I'm a pretty light packer. Or at least, I didn't bring a lot with me here to San Fran. My side of the room is really, really sparse compared to L.'s or my other flatmates. I guess it's because being here only feels temporary, and my home will always be in so cal, so why should I bring up all my crap?
I think that when I have my own apartment up here (I'll only be here for college), my place will be really, really sparse. If you looked at it, you would think a hitman lives there or an assassin. (You know, because they're never home, they're always out doing what they got to do.) But when I move back down, my new place, my real home will be the total opposite. It'll just be an explosion of all my crap at my place because I would have totally moved out of my parents' house with all my stuff, and I have ton of stuff. I save almost everything. It's kind of sad, and it's a habit I'm trying to kick, which is why I'm living like a spartan up here. "Simplify, simplify," Thoreau once wrote. Maybe I'll put up pics of my side of the room later.
samedi, octobre 15, 2005
countdown
There are a ton of things that I can't wait for (or can't wait to get over with), so here is a list of them:
17 Oct.: French skit, archaeology mid-term
18 Oct.: Thrice's Vheissu released, Thrice performs on Jimmy Kimmel
19 Oct.: Le Club Francophone poetry reading
21 Oct.: paper due
24 Oct.: First Aid session for volunteer agency
25 Oct.: marine bio mid-term
28 Oct.: Halloween sleepover with friends
10 Nov.: go home for Dad's birthday
Obviously, the stuff I can't wait to get over with is all academic. I don't understand why I'm hating school so much. I only have three classes, but I only really care about one of them--French. I mean, I love to learn just as long as the teacher is good at what he's doing. But all I really want to learn is French and filmmaking. That's it. How sad it that? I'm not very interested in anything else right now. I hope I get out of this mindless funk.
Also, I don't know why I'm never really satisfied by the present or by the immediate present. It's always the future that I'm looking forward to. I'm not happy about today because I have loads to study, or tomorrow because I have to meet with my French group and work on our skit. And it irks me just a bit that I don't have much social activites in my calendar. I'm a bit of a recluse. I like being a recluse, but it just saddens me a bit.
Here's a funny pic I took a while back. Random, I know.
17 Oct.: French skit, archaeology mid-term
18 Oct.: Thrice's Vheissu released, Thrice performs on Jimmy Kimmel
19 Oct.: Le Club Francophone poetry reading
21 Oct.: paper due
24 Oct.: First Aid session for volunteer agency
25 Oct.: marine bio mid-term
28 Oct.: Halloween sleepover with friends
10 Nov.: go home for Dad's birthday
Obviously, the stuff I can't wait to get over with is all academic. I don't understand why I'm hating school so much. I only have three classes, but I only really care about one of them--French. I mean, I love to learn just as long as the teacher is good at what he's doing. But all I really want to learn is French and filmmaking. That's it. How sad it that? I'm not very interested in anything else right now. I hope I get out of this mindless funk.
Also, I don't know why I'm never really satisfied by the present or by the immediate present. It's always the future that I'm looking forward to. I'm not happy about today because I have loads to study, or tomorrow because I have to meet with my French group and work on our skit. And it irks me just a bit that I don't have much social activites in my calendar. I'm a bit of a recluse. I like being a recluse, but it just saddens me a bit.
Here's a funny pic I took a while back. Random, I know.
jeudi, octobre 13, 2005
a dream and a past vision
I had the most beautiful dream last night. I was at my old church in my hometown. It was night. Then suddenly, a thought came into my head: "I can fly." I levitated a couple feet off the ground, then higher, and I started flying home. The stars--there were loads of them--shined brightly, then my hometown transformed right in front of me into some old European town. I knew it because of the old buildings. These buildings, circa who knows when, where lighted from within. To the right, I saw a stretch of forest and a dark lake that was glittering from the starlight. I tried to get higher and higher, but each attempt would bring me closer and closer to the ground. I alighted in front of a tall green gate. I remember holding the bars of the gate in my hand, but never entering. I just stood there in front of the gate. I can't recall what was beyond it, it was dark.
What a magical dream. Does it mean anything? I get déja vu a lot, which I think is abnormal. When I was a junior in high school, I caught a glimpse of my past life, or one of my past lives. I never told anyone about it. Later, my friend told me that she had a dream that I was in, and it confirmed my past life because she described me as I saw myself when I had the vision. It was really bizarre.
I was in my brother's room studying for an English test. He has this bright halogen lamp that I was using to read. I must've got bored of studying, and I looked into the lamp for quite a while and was quite hypnotized by it.
It's World War II. I'm in the body of a nurse in a field hospital tending to an American soldier. Everything I did, I had no knowledge of doing. A junior in high school should not know how to do these things. The other nurses were speaking to me in French, and I spoke back in French, not knowing that I had such a grasp of the knowledge. The soldier I was helping, he was young like me, handsome, and asleep. One of his eyes was bandaged, I can't remember which. I felt such a connection with this young man who was in my care. Then everything got really, really bright, and I was back in my brother's bedroom.
Every time I try to think about the vision, I find that I can't remember pieces and parts. Like I'm slowly losing it. That's all I can remember right now, but I'm pretty sure I wrote all about it when it happened. It must be somewhere in my journals at home.
Anyway, a couple days later, my friend told me about this dream she had. It's World War II. She's waiting at a street corner for me. I walk up the street to meet her wearing my nurse's uniform. We start conversing in French and smoking cigarettes as we head to a cafe. So bizarre. I told her what had happened nights ago, and we were both pretty freaked.
I don't know why I told you that story...Now you know how weird I am or it just adds to the list of my bizarre qualities.
What a magical dream. Does it mean anything? I get déja vu a lot, which I think is abnormal. When I was a junior in high school, I caught a glimpse of my past life, or one of my past lives. I never told anyone about it. Later, my friend told me that she had a dream that I was in, and it confirmed my past life because she described me as I saw myself when I had the vision. It was really bizarre.
I was in my brother's room studying for an English test. He has this bright halogen lamp that I was using to read. I must've got bored of studying, and I looked into the lamp for quite a while and was quite hypnotized by it.
It's World War II. I'm in the body of a nurse in a field hospital tending to an American soldier. Everything I did, I had no knowledge of doing. A junior in high school should not know how to do these things. The other nurses were speaking to me in French, and I spoke back in French, not knowing that I had such a grasp of the knowledge. The soldier I was helping, he was young like me, handsome, and asleep. One of his eyes was bandaged, I can't remember which. I felt such a connection with this young man who was in my care. Then everything got really, really bright, and I was back in my brother's bedroom.
Every time I try to think about the vision, I find that I can't remember pieces and parts. Like I'm slowly losing it. That's all I can remember right now, but I'm pretty sure I wrote all about it when it happened. It must be somewhere in my journals at home.
Anyway, a couple days later, my friend told me about this dream she had. It's World War II. She's waiting at a street corner for me. I walk up the street to meet her wearing my nurse's uniform. We start conversing in French and smoking cigarettes as we head to a cafe. So bizarre. I told her what had happened nights ago, and we were both pretty freaked.
I don't know why I told you that story...Now you know how weird I am or it just adds to the list of my bizarre qualities.
lundi, octobre 10, 2005
that's my new hair!
Or rather, that's my new haircut over there by my profile. I was getting tired of my Amelie pic, so I thought that it would be hilarious if I just had a pic of the back of my head, instead of giving you the front of my face. Funny, no? My roommate took it with her digital camera since I don't have one. That's my bed and desk in the background. That red clip I'm wearing (it's actually red with black stripes) is my favorite clip in the entire world, and it's my mother's. The pic's a little blurry, which adds some mystery.
Anyway, you wouldn't be interested in what I look like...Or would you? Do you need to know what I look like? After all this time I've been here, do I need to show my face to you? Some of you already know what I look like (Chaunce, Catherine). Is that fair? Maybe I'll unveil myself, one facial feature at a time. I'll give you one of my eyes, and then my forehead, and then my chin. Haha. I'm just thinking out loud. Don't count on it.
In other boring news, I'm starting to do stuff left-handed. I need the change. My right hand does everything, it really needs a break. I've been using my computer mouse with my left hand. So far, it's going good. Tomorrow, I'm going to eat breakfast with my left hand. I wonder if I can become ambidextrous. How long would it take to teach my left hand how to write? It's like first grade all over again. I should get those handwriting textbooks with the huge lines all magnified and everything.
My film is almost completed! I just have to add credits and titles and some effects. I'm really happy with it considering I had a limited amount of shots and scenes to work with, and I wasn't the one with the camera. 99% of it was filmed by my brother.
Hope everyone has a great week!
Anyway, you wouldn't be interested in what I look like...Or would you? Do you need to know what I look like? After all this time I've been here, do I need to show my face to you? Some of you already know what I look like (Chaunce, Catherine). Is that fair? Maybe I'll unveil myself, one facial feature at a time. I'll give you one of my eyes, and then my forehead, and then my chin. Haha. I'm just thinking out loud. Don't count on it.
In other boring news, I'm starting to do stuff left-handed. I need the change. My right hand does everything, it really needs a break. I've been using my computer mouse with my left hand. So far, it's going good. Tomorrow, I'm going to eat breakfast with my left hand. I wonder if I can become ambidextrous. How long would it take to teach my left hand how to write? It's like first grade all over again. I should get those handwriting textbooks with the huge lines all magnified and everything.
My film is almost completed! I just have to add credits and titles and some effects. I'm really happy with it considering I had a limited amount of shots and scenes to work with, and I wasn't the one with the camera. 99% of it was filmed by my brother.
Hope everyone has a great week!
samedi, octobre 08, 2005
to waste your time...
My friend sent me one of those questionnaire thingies thinking that I wouldn't do it, but I did! Take that, Chaunce. Now, it's here for you to enjoy:
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:52.
2. Diamonds or pearls? neither. not much of a jewelry person.
3. What is the last movie you saw at the cinema? Transporter 2. Eh.
4. What is your favorite t.v. show? It's a tie among Lost, Arrested Development, and The Office.
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Scrambled eggs, toast, and orange juice. And my daily vitamin.
6. What is your middle name? Grace.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? That's a tough one. I can't answer that.
8. What foods do you dislike? I dislike foods that are poorly prepared. Anything has the potential to be really good, it just has to be made well. I'm weird.
9. Your favorite potato chip? The ones made in a kettle--they're really crunchy. Yum.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Thrice's Vheissu, even though it's not out yet. I can't stop listening to their podcasts and the little snippets of songs that they put out. Yay for Thrice!
11. What kind of car do you drive? At home I drive a '89 BMW 3.25i. Dad sold the convertible, which I'm still bummed about.
12. Favorite sandwich? In Cambridge, I had the best chicken bacon sandwich ever near Queens' College. I'll never forget it and will probably never eat a sandwich like that again--unless I go back to Cambridge.
13. What characteristics do you despise? ungratefulness, bad manners, vanity, selfishness, snobbishness, know-it-allness.
14. Favorite item of clothing? My growing collection of sweaters.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? For vacation, probably Prague during spring. Greece for the summer.
16. What color is your bathroom? A boring yellow.
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Anything unique and different and flattering. Anything no one else would wear.
18. Where would you want to retire to? France.
19. Favorite time of day? Dinnertime.
20. Where were you born? Long Beach.
21. Favorite sport to watch? Not a sport, but I like seeing people run for their lives in movies. Running from zombies, whatever.
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? "ummm Elaine?" Haha, I'm doing this just for you, Chaunce.
24. What laundry detergent do you use? Tide.
25. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. Pepsi's too sweet for me.
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I can be a bit of both if the occasion calls for it.
27. What shoe size do you wear? 8.5
28. Do you have pets? Nope.
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everybody? My Chemical Romance saved my life, along with other artists and geniuses. My life is constantly being saved by strangers and dead people. [haha, wrote this in a post too.]
30. What did you want to be when you were little? A doctor. I was brainwashed!
31. Favorite candy bar? Anything with nuts or a cookie crust or toffee. Twix is good.
32. What is your best childhood memory? Spending summers outside with my neighborhood friends. We owned that cul-de-sac. Camping with my fam at the beach.
33. What are the different jobs you've had in your life? Receptionist at State Farm. Ugh.
34. What color underwear are you wearing? Purple.
35. Nicknames? Prufrock, Lainy, Noel (by my parents), Elaine Grace (by my nor cal cousins)
36. Piercing? Just the ears.
37. Eye color? light brown. sometimes they look olive. Dad says that I was actually born with opal eyes, kinda like a gray.
38. Ever been to Africa? No.
39. Ever been toilet papering? I wish!
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? I've been so infatuated that I would cry.
41. Been in a car accident? Thrice. The third one saved my life.
42. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons as long as they're crunchy.
43. Favorite day of the week? ALL DAYS ARE THE SAME.
44. Favorite restaurant? For "bad" food, Tommy's burgers and Pink's hot dogs. Thai BBQ is also very good.
45. Favorite flower? Hydrangea.
46. Favorite ice cream? Strawberry.
47. Disney or Warner Bros.? That's a toss-up. For now, Disney because they have the Narnia films coming out.
48. Favorite fast food? Who doesn't love In n Out?
49. Color of bedroom carpet? A weird amalgum of blue, orange, and green. It's like church or school carpeting.
50. How many times did you fail your drivers test? None!
51. Before this one, whom did you get your last email? An email from Island Records telling me to pre-order the new Thrice cd. I already ordered it from Tower!
52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Maybe IKEA or Borders.
53. What do you do most often when you are bored? Go online, read, write something, do some chores.
54. Bedtime? Around 11.
55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Just sending this back to Chaunce, who thought I wouldn't do it. Shame on you. Hahah
56. Last person you went to dinner with? Lombard at the DC (dining center).
58. What is your favorite color? Green
59. How many tattoos do you have? None. Am thinking about one, but don't like the idea of desecrating my body.
60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? "Or" came first.
61. How many people are you sending this to? Just Chaunce.
62. Beer, Wine, or Fu Fu Drink? What is Fu Fu, seriously? None of these drinks. I like sodas in bottles though.
63. What type of sheets do you have? the cotton type
64. What time did you finish this email? 11:41 a.m.
1. What time did you get up this morning? 7:52.
2. Diamonds or pearls? neither. not much of a jewelry person.
3. What is the last movie you saw at the cinema? Transporter 2. Eh.
4. What is your favorite t.v. show? It's a tie among Lost, Arrested Development, and The Office.
5. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Scrambled eggs, toast, and orange juice. And my daily vitamin.
6. What is your middle name? Grace.
7. What is your favorite cuisine? That's a tough one. I can't answer that.
8. What foods do you dislike? I dislike foods that are poorly prepared. Anything has the potential to be really good, it just has to be made well. I'm weird.
9. Your favorite potato chip? The ones made in a kettle--they're really crunchy. Yum.
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Thrice's Vheissu, even though it's not out yet. I can't stop listening to their podcasts and the little snippets of songs that they put out. Yay for Thrice!
11. What kind of car do you drive? At home I drive a '89 BMW 3.25i. Dad sold the convertible, which I'm still bummed about.
12. Favorite sandwich? In Cambridge, I had the best chicken bacon sandwich ever near Queens' College. I'll never forget it and will probably never eat a sandwich like that again--unless I go back to Cambridge.
13. What characteristics do you despise? ungratefulness, bad manners, vanity, selfishness, snobbishness, know-it-allness.
14. Favorite item of clothing? My growing collection of sweaters.
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation where would you go? For vacation, probably Prague during spring. Greece for the summer.
16. What color is your bathroom? A boring yellow.
17. Favorite brand of clothing? Anything unique and different and flattering. Anything no one else would wear.
18. Where would you want to retire to? France.
19. Favorite time of day? Dinnertime.
20. Where were you born? Long Beach.
21. Favorite sport to watch? Not a sport, but I like seeing people run for their lives in movies. Running from zombies, whatever.
22. Who do you least expect to send this back? "ummm Elaine?" Haha, I'm doing this just for you, Chaunce.
24. What laundry detergent do you use? Tide.
25. Coke or Pepsi? Coke. Pepsi's too sweet for me.
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? I can be a bit of both if the occasion calls for it.
27. What shoe size do you wear? 8.5
28. Do you have pets? Nope.
29. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with everybody? My Chemical Romance saved my life, along with other artists and geniuses. My life is constantly being saved by strangers and dead people. [haha, wrote this in a post too.]
30. What did you want to be when you were little? A doctor. I was brainwashed!
31. Favorite candy bar? Anything with nuts or a cookie crust or toffee. Twix is good.
32. What is your best childhood memory? Spending summers outside with my neighborhood friends. We owned that cul-de-sac. Camping with my fam at the beach.
33. What are the different jobs you've had in your life? Receptionist at State Farm. Ugh.
34. What color underwear are you wearing? Purple.
35. Nicknames? Prufrock, Lainy, Noel (by my parents), Elaine Grace (by my nor cal cousins)
36. Piercing? Just the ears.
37. Eye color? light brown. sometimes they look olive. Dad says that I was actually born with opal eyes, kinda like a gray.
38. Ever been to Africa? No.
39. Ever been toilet papering? I wish!
40. Love someone so much it made you cry? I've been so infatuated that I would cry.
41. Been in a car accident? Thrice. The third one saved my life.
42. Croutons or bacon bits? Croutons as long as they're crunchy.
43. Favorite day of the week? ALL DAYS ARE THE SAME.
44. Favorite restaurant? For "bad" food, Tommy's burgers and Pink's hot dogs. Thai BBQ is also very good.
45. Favorite flower? Hydrangea.
46. Favorite ice cream? Strawberry.
47. Disney or Warner Bros.? That's a toss-up. For now, Disney because they have the Narnia films coming out.
48. Favorite fast food? Who doesn't love In n Out?
49. Color of bedroom carpet? A weird amalgum of blue, orange, and green. It's like church or school carpeting.
50. How many times did you fail your drivers test? None!
51. Before this one, whom did you get your last email? An email from Island Records telling me to pre-order the new Thrice cd. I already ordered it from Tower!
52. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? Maybe IKEA or Borders.
53. What do you do most often when you are bored? Go online, read, write something, do some chores.
54. Bedtime? Around 11.
55. Who are you most curious about their responses to this? Just sending this back to Chaunce, who thought I wouldn't do it. Shame on you. Hahah
56. Last person you went to dinner with? Lombard at the DC (dining center).
58. What is your favorite color? Green
59. How many tattoos do you have? None. Am thinking about one, but don't like the idea of desecrating my body.
60. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? "Or" came first.
61. How many people are you sending this to? Just Chaunce.
62. Beer, Wine, or Fu Fu Drink? What is Fu Fu, seriously? None of these drinks. I like sodas in bottles though.
63. What type of sheets do you have? the cotton type
64. What time did you finish this email? 11:41 a.m.
jeudi, octobre 06, 2005
do you know?
I have a paper that's due tomorrow, but I chose to write here because, dear readers, you are more important to me. And this is more fun.
I was on the bus tonight going home from the agency where I volunteer at when an elderly lady sat two seats away from me. The man between us got off at the next stop. The lady looked at me, and I smiled back. I've been smiling at strangers lately. Anyway, the lady got up and sat next to me and started talking to me. She did most of the talking, and I did the listening. She asked where I went to school. "There," I pointed at the school outside the window. My stop was coming up. Then she said,
"What do you want to be?"
"I don't know." I replied.
"Be a doctor."
I said goodbye and left her. I laughed at myself crossing the street. Why did I say I didn't know?
I do know, I just didn't want to say it, especially to this stranger. I know what I want to be, but I don't know if it will ever really happen. Does that matter? Does that change the answer? I want to be a filmmaker. I want to be a writer. I want to be a world traveller. Any of these sentences would have been sufficient, but I had to say I didn't know.
I want to be happy. That's sufficient enough for me.
Plans for this weekend:
1. grocery shopping
2. study for archaeology, marine bio, and French
3. hair cut? : I really need a haircut right now. My hair is hideous. I was going to be a cheapskate (and risk taker) and have my roommate cut my hair. Just trim it. I asked her at the beginning of the semestre if she'd be cool with that, and she was. As a joke though, I got this picture out of a magazine and handed it to her last night. "I want my hair to look like that." She stared blankly at the picture, and after a few seconds I started laughing so hard. "I'm only kidding!" She started laughing really hard, and we laughed together. Good times. Anyway, am thinking of a cute, short layered bob kind of thing with a bit of fringe. That's what the pic looked like. We'll see.
I was on the bus tonight going home from the agency where I volunteer at when an elderly lady sat two seats away from me. The man between us got off at the next stop. The lady looked at me, and I smiled back. I've been smiling at strangers lately. Anyway, the lady got up and sat next to me and started talking to me. She did most of the talking, and I did the listening. She asked where I went to school. "There," I pointed at the school outside the window. My stop was coming up. Then she said,
"What do you want to be?"
"I don't know." I replied.
"Be a doctor."
I said goodbye and left her. I laughed at myself crossing the street. Why did I say I didn't know?
I do know, I just didn't want to say it, especially to this stranger. I know what I want to be, but I don't know if it will ever really happen. Does that matter? Does that change the answer? I want to be a filmmaker. I want to be a writer. I want to be a world traveller. Any of these sentences would have been sufficient, but I had to say I didn't know.
I want to be happy. That's sufficient enough for me.
Plans for this weekend:
1. grocery shopping
2. study for archaeology, marine bio, and French
3. hair cut? : I really need a haircut right now. My hair is hideous. I was going to be a cheapskate (and risk taker) and have my roommate cut my hair. Just trim it. I asked her at the beginning of the semestre if she'd be cool with that, and she was. As a joke though, I got this picture out of a magazine and handed it to her last night. "I want my hair to look like that." She stared blankly at the picture, and after a few seconds I started laughing so hard. "I'm only kidding!" She started laughing really hard, and we laughed together. Good times. Anyway, am thinking of a cute, short layered bob kind of thing with a bit of fringe. That's what the pic looked like. We'll see.
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