I'm back

So, I'm back. Woop-didee-do. Back to cold San Fran. All I have to do is get through 20 something days, and this school stuff will all be over for a good while.

Had an awesome Thanksgiving. All my family said I matured and all that. It's because of the haircut I think. It was nice being home--it felt like I never left. My room looked like it was stuck
in suspended animation though. Very cold and dusty.

Took my good friend and her sister out for lunch. Had a grand, old time. Lots of laughs. We went to Best Buy too because my brother wanted me to buy "The Golden Girls" Season 1 DVD for his friend. I know! GOLDEN GIRLS!!! Immediately, I knew I was going to get flak from the person at the cash register for buying this. So, I get it and go to the register and hand the DVD to this guy. Just my luck, the guy working is pretty cute. He says, incredulously, "GOLDEN GIRLS?!" I laughed and said, "It's not for me." My friends were behind me laughing too. He smiled. He put it in a bag and handed it to me saying, "Alright, enjoy you're Golden Girls!" I laughed. It was a nice moment.

Shopping was crazy. Mom got me some wellies in a nice black and white houndstooth print for when it rains up here. Mom's awesome. Also went shopping when we arrived at Oakland. My cousin picked us up at the airport and took us to Nordstrom Rack. Didn't find anything there, but I walked over to the Old Navy Outlet and got myself this really cool beanie. It's like the one Riley wears in the opening scenes of National Treasure. It has earflaps! It's so cute, and it reminds me of the character of Riley! I wore it to class this morning, and it always makes me feel like laughing when I wear it. We went to another Nordtrom Rack, and I got a pair of blue leather gloves. They're so warm. Afterwards, we ate at the Crepevine on Irving. Really good crepes.

I'm going to try and not write as much--I've got this paper that should have been done a while ago for my group project, but I haven't even started. And there's loads of homework to do, and finals are in three weeks!!! It's going to be okay, though. I hope everyone had an awesome Thanksgiving!

Cinematic

Saw the most beautiful thing today in cinema class. It really made my day. I was sitting there, near the front of the theatre, and this girl sat in front of me. All these students were getting papers on the stage of the theatre for the next essay that we'll have to do. This guy--a real cute looking guy--gets his paper, and right when he walks back, he says, very bashfully to the girl in front of me, "Hey...Do you mind if I sit with you?"

It was wonderful. She said yes, of course. They probably have another class together. Anyway, it was beautiful because he seemed really shy and all, and that was a cool, brave thing that he did. Very cool.

Everyone's leaving for home already! I wish I was them. I've got two classes tomorrow that I have to be at. Oh well. Also, I don't think I'll be able to write on Friday, so here's Friday's funny movie quote:

"Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan and told me that if I didn't take Lorraine out that he'd melt my brain." --George McFly, Back to the Future

Hahaha. I love the way Crispin Glover delivers that quote. It's hilarious. Happy Thanksgiving all.

beautiful weekend

The euphoria continued all throughout the weekend. Kuya took us out for philly cheese steak sandwiches. We then went to see National Treasure. I don't care what anyone says, that was a fun movie!! I mean, sitting there and all and watching the film was so much fun!! And Nicolas Cage's sidekick, Riley, was so funny and cute!! I'd see it again, sincerely.

There was this hilarious scene that only my friend and I laughed at: Cage walks with the Declaration of Independence, and he knows he's being followed by the bad guys. So he crosses the street, and this bus comes between him and the bad guys. The second the bus is gone you'd think he disappeared (like in that scene in The Bourne Supremacy). The bad guys wait for the bus to pass and as soon as it does, you see Cage sprinting really fast, and he's like 100 yards away. It was so hilarious. Just seeing him run away. We were the only ones who laughed at loud.

Saturday night dinner was at The Mango Cafe, a carribean restaurant in Palo Alto. Very good. We then walked around, I think it was called Main Street? Anyway, it was this street that had all these cool stores on it. It was a nice autumn night. There was a breeze, and leaves were falling everywhere and all. It was nice. I kept thinking about the boy with glasses, and I dreamed about how if we had our first date, I would want it to be like this. I'm a dreamer--remember that. "These times are hard for dreamers"...Sigh.

I finished my stupid cinema paper. Thank God. I have a lot more work to do, though. I can't wait for my flight back home. It's going to be nice to be home. See my parents. Sleep in my own bed.

in the ipod: "look what you've done" by jet

Euphoria

"To begin... To begin... How to start? I'm hungry. I should get coffee. Coffee would help me think. Maybe I should write something first, then reward myself with coffee. Coffee and a muffin. So I need to establish the themes. Maybe a banana nut. That's a good muffin." -- Charlie Kaufman, Adaptation.

I am so happy right now! I'm not done with my paper, unfortunately, but I'm going to try my best to finish it tonight. I can't even explain my euphoria! Hahaha. But my roommate, also a really awesome friend of mine, is really happy, too! We just can't stop smiling and giggling. I mean, I'm smiling as I write this. When she came back from breakfast, she told me that the boy with glasses was there, and that just added to my euphoria. Knowing that he was eating breakfast. It's unexplainable, the way I'm feeling. It's like the serotonin levels are off the charts because they're so high. I don't want this to go away.

I was even smiling as I walked back from class this morning, and people were looking at me like I was weird, but I didn't care, it only made me want to laugh. My friend was like, "It's like someone pumped happy gas into our room as we slept last night." And then I mimed an elf pumping the happy gas with like those pumps you use to put air in your bike tires. She laughed so hard, and then I started laughing. It was hilarious. It hurts when you smile for so long.

I tried the Ritter Sport chocolate with cornflakes the other day, and it was really good. I ate half of the bar. I'm going to eat the other half after I finish my paper as a reward. Hahaha. Like in Adaptation. I'll put in that quote at the top of this entry. I should have movie quotes every week!! The ones that make me laugh. Okay, in commemoration of my euphoric day today, I will put up funny movie quotes every Friday. Quotes that make me laugh at least. I apologize in advance if you don't find them funny.

Have a euhporic day and weekend everyone!

Mmmm. Thanksgiving.

I can't do this. I just can't do this. I can't even begin to write this stupid paper on Bryan Singer. I'm procrastinating still. I just need to vent. I don't want to write it. On to happier things...

My brother, who I affectionately call "Kuya", is visiting this weekend. He's taking me out so I can go get a decent blanket. Mine's not thick enough. I know: stupid. Who uses thin blankets in fall in San Francisco? Me, obviously. Also, my parents are back from Thailand!!! YAY! And they bought me goodies: Lacoste and Burberry knockoffs. Lovely. My parents are so selfless. Thank you God for awesome parents. Kuya's bringing pictures from the wedding in Thailand too. Wish I could've been there.

Yay! Thanksgiving's almost here. This time it's at my house. It's going to be awesome coming home and having Thanksgiving there with family and everything. Dad's cooking the turkey, and I think my mom's making pansit (filipino noodles!!!). I really miss filipino food.

I'm going to try again to start this stupid paper. Hope it doesn't kill me.

Things I'm thankful for:
1. Mom and Dad and Kuya
2. all my friends
3. my education
4. all the opportunites I've been given
5. movies and music and books and all the arts

No thanks to:
1. writing papers
2. traffic
3. mean people and indecent people
4. homework
5. bad words

Goodbye, decency

People are so indecent these days. Especially my generation. I'm constantly confronted with girls whose mouths are just as bad as boys. Maybe even worse. It makes me so sad. And angry. And the ways girls dress! It's embarassing how they bare everything. I can't stand it. Whatever happened to manners and politeness? Decency?

What prompted me to write about this? I just came from the bathroom and heard a girl down the hall say the f-word. Ugh. Least favorite word. More like, most disliked word. One time, it was written on a wall in red marker. I tried to rub it out, but it wouldn't come out. Sigh.

I admit that I curse as well, but only when I'm alone--not in public, in front of kids, or anywhere else. And I usually curse in French or German. It doesn't happen a lot. Only when I stub my toe or something, or if something bad happens. Does that make me as bad as them?

I'm not just going to rail on girls. Guys are horrible too. It's gross when they spit in front of you. I hate it when their clothing's too baggy or when they're asinine in front of girls.

I remember seeing the coolest thing. It was in a restaurant. This lady excuses herself to go to the restroom, and the guy with her stands up when she gets up to leave. It was beautifully executed, flawless. Like he had done it a million times before.

That would be nice. To be with a guy who's a real gentleman.

Favorite chocolate candy:
1. Reese's Pieces (this counts because it tastes chocolatey to me)
2. Ritter Sport Dark Chocolate with Marzipan (German)
3. Mars Galaxy Minstrels (fancy M&Ms from the UK)
4. Chocolate Orange (the ones you whack on the table)
5. Mini M&Ms

I DID IT!!!

I cut my hair, that is. It's so short! It actually looks like the picture, but a little bit shorter. I've been getting a lot of compliments, which is really nice. It's so different--it'll take a while to get used to it. I haven't told my family about it. I'm just going to wait until they see me so they get a real shock! Hahaha. The lady who cut my hair was really nice. Asked if I wanted a change. I laughed and said yes. It like that scene in "Roman Holiday" where Audrey Hepburn (as Princess Anne) gets a really short haircut. And the hair stylist is all, "All off?" And she says, "All off." And then every time he cuts a bit of hair he takes that bit of hair, holds it in front of her face, and says, "Off." He didn't want to cut her gorgeous, long hair off. That movie is really romantic. Gosh, now I feel like watching it. I hate it when that happens. I don't have it on DVD.

That would be really cool to make a romantic movie. A cool romantic movie too. Not those lame ones with weird premises. Something very classy like "Roman Holiday."

Had class today and found out that the girl next to me saw what happened on Wednesday too! She was like, "Did you notice how he's sitting with her now?" And I was all, "I thought I was the only one!" Very enlightening. We talked about how sad it was and all.

Am excited for tonight. A friend of my roommate is coming over. She's really cool. We're gonna watch some films and order in Chinese food. Very excited.

Saw the boy with glasses today at lunch!!! Thank you God. It was wonderful. Sadly, he had just finished eating and was leaving. I sat down at the bar and watched him leave with a friend. Lovely.

Favorite romantic films (in no particular order):
1. Amelie
2. Roman Holiday
3. The Princess Bride
4. Sleepless in Seattle

Being the outsider

It's cool being the outsider. You see things other people don't see naturally, and that's a gift, really. And all those times you've been ostracized or made fun of are gifts too. That's my optimistic approach.

Something sad happened in class today. Sad, in an outsider's sense. If you're an insider, you probably won't think it's sad.

I sit in the back of class at a long table. The room is filled with 8 long tables with 4 chairs at each table--no individual desks. This one girl enters. I'll call her Anna. She sits two tables ahead of me by herself. She usually walks into class with this one guy, um, Derek. These are all fake names. But this time she didn't. She walked in alone.

Derek enters with a new girl--Kim. They're talking, they're laughing. Derek goes toward the table where Anna sits--that's where he usually sits. With Anna. But Kim motions for him to sit with her at her table. She fakes a "sad face." He casts a glance at Anna who is still sitting by herself. There's something in the way he looks at Anna. Like a look of an apology. If only Anna could see his face, maybe she would accept that apology. He chooses to sit with Kim. Anna sits alone for the whole class time.

It was heartbreaking to see this. I'm pretty sure I was the only one who saw. But still. When you're the outsider, sometimes you see the saddest things. Then again, sometimes you see the funniest things that no one else thinks is funny. I can't think of any right now, I'm still sad about what happened in class.

in the ipod: "too much" and "2 become 1" by spice girls. Yup, I admit it, I like the spice girls. They're songs are catchy!

All play, no work

I can't even begin to start my research paper on Bryan Singer for cinema class. I'm sick of college. I hate the routine. Sometimes routine can be okay because it's comforting and safe. But then you just get sick of it and then you do something spontaneous like leave at the beginning of astronomy class. (This is a reference to my entry titled "Spontaeous combustion".)

I've decided to get my haircut this Thursday. I'm really excited. It's going to look like this. Hopefully. Or maybe a variation of this haircut. I hope it works out. Besides, it's just hair. It grows back. This is Shannyn Sossamon, by the way. I think she's so beautiful. She's gorgeous.

Pretty women:
1. Shannyn Sossamon
2. Catherine Zeta-Jones
3. Kate Winslet
4. Audrey Tatou
5. Audrey Hepburn

Ah...romance.

Why am I on the topic of this. Oh yeah. I wrote that "Your Song" is a romantic song in a previous journal entry, and it is. I had this fantasy in high school. I'd be waiting for class to start and all of a sudden I hear this loud, clear voice..."My gift is my song"...A crowd of students part, and there he is: the boy of my dreams. He wears a tux and holds a bunch of roses and continues singing "Your Song". And then he'd ask me to prom.

I'm such a dreamer.

Prom was probably my least favorite high school experience. It's probably because I went stag with a bunch of friends and all, and I don't like the kind of dancing that goes on. I'm really old-fashioned--I'd like to go to a dance where there would be ballroom dancing or waltzing or something, even though I don't know how to do those things. It'd also be nice if I had a date, or even knew a boy. Four years in an all-girl's school ruined me, it really did. I can't have a decent conversation with the opposite sex because of high school. But I'm probably the only girl in my class that graduated with this problem. So now, in college, with boys around...it's weird. I don't know why I'm ranting on and on about this, I guess I just need to vent, and I'm just so tired of being this way, but I can't find the courage to change anything about it.

By chance, I came across this website Ehow.com that gives instructions to do just about anything. One page was "How to Overcome Shyness." And, of course, yours truly clicks on the page to see what they had to say. Anyway, it had good tips. On the same page was a link to more tips from users of ehow.com, so I clicked on that as well. I mean, what's better than getting tips from people who used to be shy themselves. Here's one tip (titled "Scared straight") that (ahem) struck a chord in me: "Think about the bleak, lonely future you face if this shyness thing doesn't go away. That should be enough motivation."

One word: wow. When I saw this, I laughed out loud. It was just so blunt! And funny and sad at the same time. I mean, these are the bluntest, frankest two sentences I have ever seen in my entire life. The person who wrote this is named Shingo. I kid you not. It's there. Again: wow.

I don't know what else to say. I mean, in a sense, it is true. I wish to God it wasn't. Shingo should write a book: "Shingo's Words of Wisdom." And there should be a disclaimer: "Shingo's words of wisdom are blunt and frank. This book is not for the faint of heart." Hahaha.

Favorite names for boys:
1. Shingo (I'm assuming Shingo is a guy. Haha.)
2. Peter
3. Edmund
4. Calvin
5. Andrew

One grievance

I hate it when people say, "sucks for you." I hate that phrase. It was just said to me today when I told my friend I had a midterm. To which she replied those horrible words. They make you feel like crap, they really do. The last time I've said that to someone was probably in 7th grade, and then I realized that it hurts when someone says that to you. Or maybe I'm just a big baby. No, no, no...those words are real crap. The next person that says that to me gets to be called a twat.

Okay, I'm glad I got that frustration out. In other news, I really want to cut my hair, but I don't know what I want yet. I know I want it short. It's short right now, it's a little above my shoulders, I just don't want to have to be able to put it in a ponytail. It's amazing what a haircut can do to you. I got a haircut right after I graduated from high school, and it changed everything.

Neat

http://www.geocities.com/elainegrace281/cemetary.jpg

My friend just showed me how to use the scanner. Cool picture, huh? Took it when my mom, grandma, brother, and I went to Europe in the summer. It was the year before my junior year of high school. This picture was taken in a cemetary in Norway. I have family there. Isn't that cool?! I've got more pictures I'd like to show, but most of them are at home in southern California. This picture totally reminds me of Gray's "Elegy Written in a Country Churchyard." Beautiful, amazing poem. Very lovely. Read it sometime.

Am going out to eat with friends. Later.

in the ipod: "your song" sung by Ewan McGregor (one of the most romantic songs...will write about that later)
"L'absente" by yann tiersen

Quality

Had a really cool weekend. We had a sleepover on Friday. Watched "28 Days Later", which was really good. It was scary and enlightening, which is rare in some of the horror films I've seen. And I can't stop saying the word 'twat.' I got it from "28 Days Later." It's just a fun word to say. Say it out loud, right now. Twat. Isn't that amazing? It's britspeak for 'idiot.' Gotta love the Brits. I finished this children's book, or young adult's book, whatever, it's called "Millions", and it's also being made into a film. It's British too, and the kids say 'quality.' When something's good, it's 'quality.' Love that.

Had an uneventful Halloween though. Didn't really do anything or dress up. Pretty much stayed in and read. Maybe next year.

on the ipod:
"accidentally in love" by counting crows
"table of glasses", "lucky denver mint", and "your new aesthetic" by jimmy eat world