Why, God, why?!?!

I was walking back from astronomy class, and lo and behold, there he is again. The boy with glasses. I literally stopped dead in my tracks. Actually, I had stopped walking on the path because I was choosing a song to listen to on my ipod (I picked "La Valse d'Amelie"), and when I picked it and looked up to start walking again, there he was. He had his back to me, but he was standing on the grass, just like before, talking on his cell phone. I couldn't even breathe. I just knew it was him. And to confirm it, he turned a quarter turn, like 90 degrees, and I saw the profile of his face, and it was beautiful.

The first thought that came into my mind was, "Why, God, why?!?!" Why are you torturing me?! I was laughing and smiling at myself at the sheer moment of it all. Seeing him again in my most loneliest moments. It's most rewarding. It's the best torture I've ever had to go through. Thanks again, God. You've really pulled through. Maybe me seeing him again today is a response from God, because I prayed for the boy with glasses last night. And, yes, I sometimes pray for strangers.

Anyways...what a great day!!! I can't stop smiling. Hahaha. Have a great weekend guys! And Happy Halloween!!

A giddy schoolgirl

Another boy with glasses sighting! It's the third one this week.

I'm walking to my astronomy lab and listening to my ipod on the way there, like I always do. And there he is. He's walking back and forth on the grass, talking on his cell phone. Beautiful. Thank you God. Actually, at that moment, I said quitely to myself, "God." It was like a thank you to God. Thanks again God!! Haha. It was beautiful. I was listening to my Amelie soundtrack, which made the moment all the more cinematic. Life's so cinematic--that's my line, so nobody better steal it. I'm going to use it in one of my films.

I was so happy after that moment that I couldn't stop smiling. I just couldn't. I was even giggling! I was very giddy--hence the title. My happy spirits made lab go so quickly. It was over in a snap. And then I couldn't stop smiling on my way back from lab. What is it about him that makes me so? I'll never know.

Things/people that make me blush and/or smile:
1. the boy with glasses
2. when something funny happens in class
3. when boys are polite and/or funny
4. whenever I watch "The Princess Bride"
5. whenever I do something embarassing (like the time I tripped in the movie theatre in front of all the employees)

Here's a list of films I can't wait for. You can find their trailers at http://www.apple.com/trailers
1. Millions
2. The Life Aquatic (another Wes Anderson film!)
3. Ocean's Twelve
4. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
5. A Very Long Engagement (starring Audrey Tatou!)

Spontaneous combustion

This entry actually has nothing to do with spontaneous combustion, I just thought it would be an intriguing title. I did do something today that was totally out of character and very spontaneous of me.

I was sitting in astronomy class waiting for class to start, by myself, mind you, because I have no friends in most of my classes. And that's the saddest, loneliest class I have because it's a huge class, and nobody sits by me. Enough about my loneliness. So I was sitting when I checked my cell, and my brother's girfriend had called me. So I called her back. She told me that she was going to Target and was wondering if I wanted to come. I told her I couldn't, that I was in class and all, but thanks anyways. I hung up.

I started putting my hair up in a ponytail, and then these two girls behind me started laughing. I don't know why. Being the Prufrock that I am, I thought that they were laughing at me. I don't know why I assumed that; I just did. I'm such a loser. Anyway, that's when I got up and just left the room. I left and didn't look back.

I called my brother's girlfriend and told her that I can go now because I've ditched class. Hahaha. She got all mad at me for ditching and all and told me not to tell my brother that she took me out when I should be in class. I agreed. We went to Target, and I got to get stuff I needed.

So, that was nice. Being spontaneous and all. I remember walking away from class, across the quad, and seeing the boy with glasses walk past me on the same path. And I immediately thought, "Oh, a bonus." He didn't see me though. Again, invisible. It was nice, though. It was nice breaking away from routine. I know that if I hadn't skipped, I would not have seen the boy with glasses. Life's so bizarre. All the different paths we take every single day--it's amazing. One small choice, and everything's different. It's mind boggling. The outcomes are endless. It makes me want to spontaneously combust.

Haha.

Family. It isn't a word; it's a sentence.

Remember that? That was the tagline for "The Royal Tenenbaums." Anyways, my brother came and visited me yesterday, which was really cool. Took my roommate and I out to breakfast with his girlfriend. After, we went to Best Buy because I wanted to get the "Arrested Development" DVD set. Awesome, funny show. We then dropped off my roommate because she had to work on her term paper and his girlfriend because she had to go study for her midterm.

We went to go play pool. Fun times. He's really good, and I'm getting better since I've been playing every friday with my friends. We walked around on Irving and had a small bite to eat at Tart to Tart, this neat cafe. It was nice to be around family and get away from studying. I have the awesomest brother. He told me once that when I finish with film school he'll help invest in my films. He's a pharmacist, and I'm pretty much going to be the starving artist in the family. But, how awesome is that? It doesn't get any better than that.

Argh. Don't really want to study, but I have to.

Another great day to be alive

What a great day. It was nice outside. The sun was shining, but it was bit breezy which was nice. My first class ended early--awesome. And my second class was pretty good. Except for the fact that these two boys were totally looking at my answers in astronomy lab, and my lab partner was like, "Hey, Elaine, let's go over here," so they couldn't see my answers. They were really rude boys and were sleeping during the lecture before the lab. They got their comeuppance though because when the professor was checking labs she totally scolded them, and my lab partner looked at me and smiled, and I smiled back. It was awesome seeing them get scolded. Hahaha. I know that that sounds bad, but they totally deserved it.

"Ambush Makeover" is a really cool show. Random people are picked off the streets and given makeovers. Most of the time, the women they pick are these moms who just never have time for themselves because they take care of their children. It's awesome to see these women getting pampered and getting free clothes that they would never have bought. On today's show, this one lady cried after seeing her new self--she was just so happy to have been given all this attention that she'd been neglected of. What an amazing show. I like it when they do men too. They took this one guy who seriously looked like a bum--beard, lots of hair, and baggy clothing--and put him in a suit and shaved his beard and cut his hair. He looked hot afterward! It's amazing what scissors and new clothes can do to a person. I love these people's reactions, too. They're so happy...I wonder what they'd do to me if I they picked me.

Other reasons to be alive:
1. seeing the stars
2. amazing friends who make you laugh
3. amazing music, films, books
4. knowing that others are glad that you're alive
5. admiring boys..haha. Especially the boy with glasses.

the one advantage to being sick

There's only one advantage to being sick and congested: the sexy, phlegmy voice.

I know that sounds gross, but it's true. I've got a decent singing voice, but once the phlegm settles in, and the nose is clogged, it's instant sexy. Hahaha...I'm such a dork. I'm probably the only person who thinks it's sexy.

Good songs to sing with a sexy, phlegm voice:
"Save Me" and "One" by Aimee Mann
"In the Waiting line" by Zero 7
"Caramel" by Suzanne Vega...at least, these are the only songs I've been singing whenever my roommate is not around.

My first rainy day here...

I've got a cold, and it's raining. It's nice and sad, though. What's that quote from A Farewell to Arms? "I am afraid of the rain because sometimes I see me dead in it." Sad story.

My friends and I were eating dinner at the dining center and sitting at this bar that looks outside so we can watch the rain. It's the same room I sat in when I saw the boy with glasses that one beautiful day. I turn to talk to my friend, and out of the corner of my eye I see him--there he is. The boy with glasses sits at a table eating dinner with his friends again. Thank you, God. My heart skips.

I turned away, out of sheer shock and shyness, and stared out the window. It's okay, though. He didn't see me. I'm totally invisible.

We left before they did. I can still recall walking away and reprimanding myself for being...myself. Some things will never change.

Busted

Last night was interesting.

My roommate and I watched from our window a couple of guys being interrogated by police. Catherine wakes me up saying, "Check it out, Elaine! I think it's Danny"--this guy who we ate dinner with once at the dining center. I don't think we'll be eating with him anymore. We watched one guy get handcuffed and arrested. Might have been drugs. I dunno.

I had vertigo the other night. I know! Vertigo! Who gets vertigo anymore?! That was a very good movie, anyway. The ending was surprising. I hope I don't get it again.

on my ipod:
"caramel" by suzanne vega (from the trailer for "Closer")
"halcyon and on and on" by orbital
"love will come through" by travis (from "Garden State")

To Mark

I hope you're happy, Mark. You've made me cry. I hate you. I'm sorry...I really don't hate you. I really don't. It's just that...you know what, I can't even find the words, I can't even...You used the "Love Song" against me! You used it against me!! When I read your beautiful words I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both.

Thanks. Thank you for commenting at 1:48 in the morning. Thank you for the beautiful words. But, I will never be able to follow through. YOU DON'T KNOW ME, MARK. I will be fine not being able to know the boy with glasses. Just knowing he exists will suffice. That, and that alone, would be okay for me.

I hope you got some sleep. By the way, you have an amazing knowledge of the poem. Take care, Mark.

Another beautiful day...

The sun was shining today, and there was a slight breeze. As I walked to another class across the quad I listened to "Bittersweet Symphony." Beautiful. And it got better.

I just came back from dinner, and I saw the boy with glasses at the dining center. He was at the dessert table...getting desert. I felt just like Amelie when she sees Nino for the first time (from the film "Amelie" : ) ). Heart was beating out of my chest and everything. I was walking to a table, and I noticed him walking behind me. He happened to be sitting with three other guys at a table across the room. Thank you, God.

My friend sat down with me, and I pointed him out to her. I've described him to her before, but she's never seen him. And she told me that when she had seen him, she knew that that was him. I mean, she knew that he was the boy with glasses without me having to tell her that he was the boy with glasses. I wore a huge smile althroughout dinner.

My friend told me to go talk to him. Are you kidding?!?! I am Prufrock. I just can't do it. If it happens, it happens. If we were destined to meet, then somehow we will meet. But not today.

He left the dining center with his friends, and they passed by our table. I didn't even have the courage to glance at him and maybe smile. I was just too afraid. I called myself a wimp as I stared at my half-eaten pasta. Outside the large glass windows I saw him and his friends walk away. Goodbye, boy with glasses. Oh, and you too,..uh...friends of boy with glasses.

Still, it was nice. Having my heart beat out of my chest while knowing he was walking behind me. That rarely happens with anyone. My heart's a flutter just reminiscing about it. I hope I see him again.

Whew...relief.

Okay, so the exam wasn't that bad, but I wish I had studied harder. Definitely will on the next one. I hope.

Saw "I Heart Huckabees" last weekend. I really enjoyed it. I also think Jason Schwartzman is an amazing actor. I can't wait to see his next film. "Huckabees" enlightened me in the same way J.D. Salinger's Franny and Zooey did. I mean, I walked out of the cinema very enlightened and all. My favorite quote from "Huckabees": "Everything matters and everything is connected."

My roommate and I were discussing the idea of soul mates last night. Does every person have one true, perfect other? Or are there many people just right for us? How do we know? Is it a feeling?

I guess when you've found that someone, then you do believe in soul mates. And if you haven't, then you don't. It's hard to say. I haven't found him, but I do believe in someone perfect for me. It's scary how much faith I put in that.

Songs I'm listening to on my ipod:
"brick" by ben folds five
"May 16" by lagwagon
"harmonic" by unwritten law
"lover's spit" by broken social scene

AHHH!!!

Haha..I have an exam in astronomy class today that's worth 30% of my grade. Scary. And what am I doing? I'm writing in my blogger. It's good to know what my priorities are.

Looks like I'm going to keep writing here, thanks to Mark who convinced me to...well, keep writing.

Must go to class. Will write about the exam when I get back.

Toodles,
Elaine

I wonder...

I wonder if anyone is really reading this, because I'm thinking of just stopping this whole blogger thing...I'll wait and see.

I can't wait to go home and sleep in my own bed. I wonder if it'll still feel the same. Like how it used to feel when I slept in my bed in high school and grade school. I don't know. Thanksgiving seems like an awfully long time.

My parents are going to Thailand. My cousin is getting married. Lucky. My parents, I mean. I'm not ready for marriage.