I mustn't stress out

I had the most amazing week away from the city: fun with the fam (mom's side), amazing weather (hot!), and a lovely wedding. It was problem-free, stress-free, and the food was free (home-cooked meals!).

And now I'm back, and all is chaos...

Started summer school today. Class was great, but I had to drop my other class because it won't count for my GE. I'll have to take another class this fall that will count. So, by the end of the summer, I'll be one class short of finishing my GE. Sucks. I'm really pissed off at myself for not knowing this sooner. I've wasted a bunch of my parents' money, and I'll be a junior who hasn't finished her GE, which is really embarassing. I'm mostly mad that I wasted Mom and Dad's money.

I'm scared to tell them that I dropped that class because I also dropped that other class in my last summer class session. I really don't want to tell them at all, but I hate keeping secrets from them. I figure that I'll really load up on classes this Fall--working on films will take the backseat because school is really super important. So here is my new list of priorities starting Fall:

1. School
2. Film
3. Finding a job, maybe.

For now, it's back to being frugal and buying less groceries. I have some clothes that are too big for me now, and I'll probably sell those at Crossroads for grocery money and film money. This new super 8 film is going to cost me (not a lot, thank God) but if I want to stay within budget I have to plan more. With one less class, that gives me more time to plan. God, help me.

On lighter, better things: the wedding in Napa was fab. I hung out with my cousins and was able to re-energize. The wedding got me thinking about marriage and how sacred and beautiful it is. I started tearing up when my cousin, the blushing bride, was walking down the aisle and the way she looked at her husband to be and the way he looked at her. It was cinematic and wonderful. I felt like they were totally ignoring the camera flashes, the priest, and all the people in attendance. They looked like they were in their own little world, the bride and the groom. When the time comes, it would be nice to share that sort of connection with someone. I'm not saying I can't wait to get married (because I can), I'm just excited for that time in my life where I'll be able to look at him (my future husband) and just know what he's thinking and share that bond with him that no one else can have. That's what they have now. And it's impenetrable and a wonder to watch them look at each other, talk to each other, like no one else exists but them.