maybe next year

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Mine was good. I feel bad though, because I wasn't really into the Christmas spirit and all. I was at our family's Christmas party, and there were a ton of people there, but I just felt empty and alone--devoid of any Christmas spirit. I think it might be because I'm not really close with my cousins. They're all so close with each other, but I'm not really close with them. I'm sort of the odd one out of all of the girl cousins because I'm the youngest, and I'm not skinny, and perfect, and beautiful like they are. They're all so perfect. And they all have boyfriends or fiancees. I don't even have one kiss. Anyway, I put on a happy, smiling face for them.

There was a gift exchange thing among all the cousins and their girlfriends/boyfriends/fiancees were included as well. I got my cousin's girlfriend. She had to leave, so I gave her my gift before we all opened our presents. It was a purse. A real nice one too, I really wanted to see her expression when she opened it, but she just left without opening it. In my heart, I wasn't really in the mood for opening presents, so I just wore this really convincing smile when I opened the present I received through the gift exchange. They were these really cute Paul Frank slippers. I absolutely loved them, but I wasn't into the spirit this year. I was just going through all the motions. Maybe next year I'll feel better. There must be something seriously wrong with me if I'm feeling this way on Christmas day. God, please help me.

You know how I wrote that I won't be blogging as much? Well, as you can see, I'm pretty much blogging at the same amount I'd blog when I'm at school. So...I've got time...enough of it to blog now and then... Hope all of you are having awesome Christmas breaks.