I had a final this morning, and it went okay. I should have studied more, but it's cool.
Afterwards, I donned my new coat, and I felt a little Amelie-ish today, so I also wore a skirt and my Doc Martens, and I headed out to West Portal to get my hair trimmed and get a present for this girl I know.
I was so unbearably happy. I was walking around West Portal, and everything just felt right. It felt good to be alive in that moment. It still feels good to be alive right at this moment as I type. I gave like 80 cents to this Salvation Army guy, and I smiled at everyone who passed me by. It was nice.
I had a revelation the other night. It's about the boy with glasses. I was thinking that, if he felt anything for me, then he'd have to make a choice: do something or do nothing at all. And if he chose the latter, it'll be done with, and I'm going to move on. It may seem like I'm giving up, and in a way, I am, but I can't be the one who makes the first move. I just can't be. And I'm not going to be stuck on this guy forever. So, the next time we see each other, and I smile, and if he ignores me and does nothing in return, then I'm going to accept the fact that he feels nothing for me. I mean, Nino went to Amelie, right? He was at her doorstep. But, that's a movie, and this is real life...so...
I really am stubborn, aren't I?
jeudi, décembre 16, 2004
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3 commentaires:
thanks Catherine!!! i hope he does too!
What will you do, if he smiles back?
Good luck on the rest of your finals.
"What will you do, if he smiles back?"
I'll just die right there, that's what I'll do. I'm joking...I'm not quite sure what I'll do. This Prufrock's mind already foresaw the boy with glasses not returning my glance.
But if he did, if he smiled back, then I'd try to say "hi", or if I can't make it that far (which is probably true), then I'd mouth "hi". But in all seriousness, there's no telling what will happen, what I'll do at that moment, and what he'll do after I do what I'll do.
Gosh, liking someone is so complicated.
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