crybaby

My aunt wanted to see "The Family Stone" (and I secretly wanted to too--2 words: Owen Wilson). Anyway, I didn't openly admit it, but said, when she asked if I'd take her, "Of course." I was expecting some sort of spin off "Meet the Parents", but I was totally wrong. It's a sad movie!

Not a huge fan of sad films, and most of it was not even that sad. But, I don't know--I am so weak!!! There's this one scene. Sarah Jessica Parker and Owen Wilson are lying in his bed (fully clothed), and they're watching the snow fall. He had his arm around her and asked her if she was comfortable and she said yes. It was nice, and such a pretty picture. I guess it really pulled at my heartstrings because tears started rolling down my face. And all I could think was, "Oh God, why am I crying, I'm not even sad!" And yet this flood of tears was coming down, and I couldn't stop. I wasn't sobbing or anything, it was just all these tears! I was embarrassed but glad that I was sitting in a dark theatre.

And then, I don't know why I think they're related but, I had a weird dream that night. I was in a toy store, and there were all these guys there. Just these random guys in my age range. And I was wearing this mask, and they kept wanting me to take off my mask. It was green and on the outside it looked like astro-turf (weird, I know). They were being really nice and all and just kept saying, "Please, Elaine, take off your mask. Give me your mask." And I kept shying away and saying no, I like my mask. This one guy, this one guy that stuck out of all of them, started hugging me and said, "Please, Elaine. Please." And I pushed him away, even though I didn't want to, and I didn't mean it, but I did, and I started crying, underneath the mask and all. And that was it. I guess I'm relating it because of the crying. Dreams are so weird.

I can see the whole meaning behind it, the masks we wear in front of people and all that, but...I'm not even going to go into it anymore. I'm just going insane.

I've been biking around my neighborhood a lot ever since I got here. It's nice alone time, and I haven't biked in years. I live on a hilly culdesac, but the main street that connects the neighborhood is pretty flat. Slight incline, but pretty easy to maneuver. None of my gears work, so the bike home, up the hill, makes me gasp. It's so pathetic. I thank God my neighbors aren't out when I bike up the hill, panting. I resolve to conquer the culdesac!

plans for this week:
1. meet with friends (see Narnia!)
2. Christmas shop (still!)
3. clean up the house a bit and decorate some more for the party
4. start on that other list I made of things to do over Christmas break

currently reading: 1984 by George Orwell. Still one of the most amazing books I have ever read in high school.