the last collective

We had our last meeting on Monday. I was uber-sad. Scarf is graduating. Slate might be leaving. Scarf seemed kind of sad that it was our last meeting. It was in the way he talked and the way he looked at everyone. He was taking it all in, savoring his last Collective meeting with us.

We were doing an outdoor shoot today. Slate was on his way with the equipment. It was a scene from "Sunset Boulevard". Scarf was asking us what duties we wanted. He said that he wanted a girl to direct this shoot. He looked at me. I had this feeling that he wanted me to direct in the way he looked at me. Or I could be over-analyzing, reading into looks too much. Maybe that's what I wanted to see in his eyes. I hesitated, and before I could say anything, V. volunteered. I missed my chance. Stupid Prufrock.

I volunteered for 2nd assistant camera. I pretty much help out the camera operator and first assistant camera. We went to the location: the outdoor entrance of the Humanities building. L. wanted to be the director of photography. She was with the director checking out where to put the camera and figuring out the actor's blocking. Slate came with the equipment and we set up the dolly tracks and lights.

We were setting up and shooting for 5 hours. We got so cold that we'd wrap ourselves in the sound blankets--used for isolating sounds. It was excellent. I never felt so happy, so involved. We'd joke around between takes and set-ups. We'd talk and take pictures. Unfortunately, Scarf hardly said anything to me other than how to properly store a C-stand. I wondered if he was mad at me. Slate barely talked to me either. He would just tell me what to do and why I had to do it this way and so forth. I don't think he likes me much. That's okay. I think I've lost interest in him too.

After we loaded up the equipment van, we took a group picture. This is how things end. This is what happens. People come in and out of your life so quickly. Time goes by so fast. I don't want this to end. It only started less than three months ago! And the bulk of my posts have been about the Collective or about film. Thank you, God, for these past amazing weeks. I am so grateful for the friends I've made and the new experience and lessons that you've taught me, further proof that this is the path for me and that I can't turn back now. Thank you, thank you, thank you.