embarrassing

Another test in filmmaking class today. Slate was there. He walked in and sat three rows, exactly in front of me. There were people between us. He turns around. Like the dork that I am, I smile and wave to him. I went against everything that has made me a Prufrock, all those voices in my head telling me not to go on a limb, not to be spontaneous, not to grab life by the horns and bite the bullet.

Nothing.

I shrank in my seat. "God, did anyone see that? That was so embarrassing!" Did he see me? Maybe he didn't see me, that's why he didn't wave. Anyway, I felt like a huge dork. I imagined God laughing so hard. "Very funny, God. You knew that would happen." Anyway, my life is God's Comedy Central channel.

Anyway, after the test I left class to go to the bathroom. I was outside in the hallway eating pretzels. This guy from Collective, R., comes up to me and asks me how I did on the test. We talked for a bit and then he had to go. I asked him his name again because I wasn't sure, and he confirmed it and asked me mine. We shook hands. Cool guy.

Went back to class for lecture. One of the cool TAs, S., showed a film he directed and wrote. It was amazing. A short film about a Muslim mother who lives in America. She hasn't heard from her son, who's fighting in Iraq, and meanwhile she's being harrassed by teens in her neighborhood. It was well done. He gave a talk about being a director and working with actors. It was very informative and inspiring. It was funny because some of the things he was saying really connected with what I learned when I made "New Noise". He was really funny too.

After class, I asked him questions about his crew. He was really informative and gave me even more great advice about finding people to work on my film. I thanked him. Thank you God for helpful TAs.