hats off

I've stopped wearing my watch. I am teaching myself not to be so dependent on the clock, especially during the summer. I mean, come on, it's summer! My internal clock is pretty good, I haven't been too late to work. My boss is out of the country anyway, and no one else really cares. I've replaced my watch with a cool jade bracelet, a birthday gift from my Mom.

What is it about me that everyone spills out their life's guts to me? Whenever I'm alone at the office, just me and one co-worker, he/she tells me everything. I'm not complaining, it's just an observation. This isn't the first time. People tell me everything all the time. It makes me feel good that they can trust in me. I'm a pretty good listener, and I don't talk much. I think I express myself better through the written word. I also feel that people don't like to listen to me when I talk, but that's another thing.

D. and I have a weird "relationship", I guess that's the word. He's nice and all, but I don't want him to get too close to me. I don't want him to like me. He's an okay guy most of the time, but I don't trust him. I'm not attracted to him anyway. I have trust issues, especially with males. I don't want them to get to close, and yet, someday, I'd like to have a boyfriend, and, later, a husband. But how is this possible if I don't let anybody in? This is why I have only one male friend in college, C.. I'm hopeless. Today, D. likened me to Daria. I didn't say anything. I just let him say it. He also said, in these words, "I can't figure out your personality." Again, I was silent.

One day this past week I went out for my lunch hour. I was waiting for my food at Baja Fresh or something like that when this cute guy walked in, very cute, very nice-looking. He stood next to me, looking up at the menu. And I kept thinking, "Here's this guy standing right next to me, but I'll never know him. I'll never meet him. We will never share anything except this space and air." My number was called, and that was it. I ate alone outside perusing over the new Urban Outfitters catalog. What a lonely existance I lead...

The money I earn hasn't brought much happiness (it shouldn't anyway). I was sort of disappointed in the cds I got. My musical tastes are so strict. I have such high expectations. They didn't suck, they just have few great tracks. Most of the money is being put away in a savings account for when I study abroad for a year, something that I hope I'll go through with. You know me, I chicken out pretty easily.

my recent purchases:
1. cds: bloc party "silent alarm" and the delgados "universal audio"
2. dvd: L'Auberge Espagnole
3. Parcel tote bag
4. Goorin hat (see above)