I hate it when people say, "sucks for you." I hate that phrase. It was just said to me today when I told my friend I had a midterm. To which she replied those horrible words. They make you feel like crap, they really do. The last time I've said that to someone was probably in 7th grade, and then I realized that it hurts when someone says that to you. Or maybe I'm just a big baby. No, no, no...those words are real crap. The next person that says that to me gets to be called a twat.
Okay, I'm glad I got that frustration out. In other news, I really want to cut my hair, but I don't know what I want yet. I know I want it short. It's short right now, it's a little above my shoulders, I just don't want to have to be able to put it in a ponytail. It's amazing what a haircut can do to you. I got a haircut right after I graduated from high school, and it changed everything.
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A fresh haircut really can give you a different attitude. I think this is the result of relief. You become uncomfortable with your hair, and until you act this unease hovers on the edge of your thoughts. Good things can come of a timely haircut.
I like to read your observations of daily life. I'm glad you decided to keep writing. If your Boy with Glasses ever is divided from his cell phone long enough to notice those nearby, I hope he takes the time to notice you. I think you would make him curious.
Of course the danger of pining from afar is that you might never find out. *ok ok I'll not harp on this anymore. Although, as an ex-Prufrock I can tell you that life is much more intersting on the inside.*
/duck
Oh, and "sucks to be you" truly is one of the most insulting things ever said. Hearing this always makes me cringe.
Hey Mark! Thank you for your comments. I'm really glad you read my journal. And it's because of you that I'm still writing in it, so thanks again.
It's nice to know that you're an ex-Prufrock. We share the experience of being a Prufrock. What I'm wondering is, if it's not too much to ask, was there a single experience where you became ex-Prufrock? I mean, what happened so that you were no longer Prufrock? You don't have to answer, of course. It helps me to get these questions all out. And it's just that I'm wondering when that will happen for me.
Thank you for hoping that the boy with glasses notices me. Hope is an amazing thing. Take care.
How does one answer such a query, in an anonymous online forum, without sounding trite? I don't think my experiences would give much insight. Distilled, they would offer "you have to take the good with the bad," "learn from your mistakes," or (shudder) "every cloud has a silver lining." I don't know about you, but platitudes make me ill.
I'll try to offer as best a bit of advice a stranger can...
You have to be brave. Not the steely-eyed mythological kind of bravery either. To really live your life you have to _know_ that you are going to be hurt. You have to accept that fact and not care, because you are a sentient being - not a puppet. You must write what you will, love whom you will, and laugh/cry/think/speak as you will, because to do otherwise is to be a slave to fear.
If you really want to know what kind of experience (because just reading about it would not have worked for me) leads to such thinking...
The Girl With Glasses broke my heart, and I had to chose slavery or freedom. It took a very long time to choose.
Thank you for your advice, Mark. I wrote it out on post-it notes and stuck it on my mirror so that I can see it everyday. Your words mean a lot to me.
I'm glad that you're alive, that you found me and my blog, and that you have the time to read about my experiences and offer sage advice.
I'm sorry if I forced you to write about your past. And I hope you're okay now. Take care.
p.s. I guess we both have a thing for people with glasses. Sigh.
Don't be concerned. You didn't force me at all. I thought only to give some context, and I'm doing very well these days.
If you find the advice useful, then I will be happy. I'm confident you have the curiosity and strength to lead a very meaningful life. You may be a stranger to me, but you can usually get a sense of these things from someone's writing. You are open and earnest, and that counts for much.
Take care Prufrock.
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