Being the outsider

It's cool being the outsider. You see things other people don't see naturally, and that's a gift, really. And all those times you've been ostracized or made fun of are gifts too. That's my optimistic approach.

Something sad happened in class today. Sad, in an outsider's sense. If you're an insider, you probably won't think it's sad.

I sit in the back of class at a long table. The room is filled with 8 long tables with 4 chairs at each table--no individual desks. This one girl enters. I'll call her Anna. She sits two tables ahead of me by herself. She usually walks into class with this one guy, um, Derek. These are all fake names. But this time she didn't. She walked in alone.

Derek enters with a new girl--Kim. They're talking, they're laughing. Derek goes toward the table where Anna sits--that's where he usually sits. With Anna. But Kim motions for him to sit with her at her table. She fakes a "sad face." He casts a glance at Anna who is still sitting by herself. There's something in the way he looks at Anna. Like a look of an apology. If only Anna could see his face, maybe she would accept that apology. He chooses to sit with Kim. Anna sits alone for the whole class time.

It was heartbreaking to see this. I'm pretty sure I was the only one who saw. But still. When you're the outsider, sometimes you see the saddest things. Then again, sometimes you see the funniest things that no one else thinks is funny. I can't think of any right now, I'm still sad about what happened in class.

in the ipod: "too much" and "2 become 1" by spice girls. Yup, I admit it, I like the spice girls. They're songs are catchy!